Broken Child

just a doll

Its so hard to be Dependent on someone and then they suddenly leave .
It was so hard for Andy to live without Alex . or so he thought .

"Andy please just eat a little. Just a little" jolly begged for him to eat ..
Jolly rememberd When he lost his mom . he was broken .. But there are always people out there who are willing to help .
And that's what jolly did . he didn't leave Andy's side
"Andy . you need to be strong. You need to fight . I was just like you when I lost my mom Andy . but I built myself up .. I was a fighter . dont let people put you down An..."
Andy cut him off and said
"H-how is it ...to..to have.. A mom ?"
Jolly's eyes widened and he could feel them watering .. What's wrong with me ...I ..I never cry he thought
"Its .... It's umm amazing .. My mom was an amazing mother she..she loved me ...in fact.. She was the only one who loved me ... I..I miss her a lot " he whispered the last part mostly to himself
"What about your mom Andy ? Where is she ?"
Andy looked down at his fingers remembering the woman with red hair 'his mom' that didn't want him
He waited for her .. But she never came back for him
"Don't know...she.. Didn't want ...me..
Know one...wants.. Me"
Jolly just looked down
"That's not true Andy "
he really didn't know what to say to the poor boy in front if him
"I ... I am not ... Good ...I um.. I am ugly... Not .. Smart ..I have ... Scars and .. So skinny... Who would ...  Want ..me.." few tears left his eye  and fell in his pale boney hands
Jolly gently took Andy's hands in his and said so softly
"Don't say this Andy.. You are far from ugly... Maybe I don't know you so well . but I swear you are the most kind person I have ever met ... I .. Just... I just dont understand how could people hurt you like this .. And make you believe these things about yourself."
Andy took his hands away and shook his head
"Why... Why are you .. Nice .. To me ... Why are...why are you.  Touching me ..I ...I am... D-dirty.."
Jolly was beyond choked when he heard him say this .. He then knew that this boy is truly broken beyond repair..
He never saw someone talk about themself like this .. With so much hate and disgust..
Jolly hated himself ..yes. But he never said anything like this about himself .
But then again he remembers the day he found him at that bar almost passed out after those pedophiles raped him.. He saw the scars on his body.. He saw the words carved in his skin .. And one of the many degrading words he saw .. The word 'dirty' was there ..
It wasn't carved only in his skin but also in his mind . he thought .
Jolly at that moment he made a promise to himself.  To find the whole story about this kid ... And he already planned the punishment for the people who made Andy suffer .. For the people who tortured him and made him believe such degrading things about himself.
He didn't know how ..  But he was determined to find them and to punish them the worst punishment ever.
The first thing he decided to do was to go to Alex and get the whole story from him.

"What do you want " was the first thing Alex said as soon as he opened his door and found jolly . he was clearly drunk
" I need to talk to you "
"About ?"
Jolly sighed
"Andy .."
Alex's eyes widened and panic was clear in his face
"What about him ? Something happened to him ? Is he okay ?"
Jolly just didn't understand when he saw the panic face of Alex. If he is worried about him this much .. WHY kicking him out in the first place
" he is just fine ... I came here to..umm..I wanted to know more about him .. He is just... So..."
" wiered" Alex said
"No.. I mean Not wiered Just ... Different , he acts and speaks different "  he then looked at Alex right in the eyes and said
"Something happened to him , something bad .. And I need to know about it .. That's why I'm here I'm sure you know a lot "
Indeed . Alex knew alot , he knew to much to handle but something deep inside him is telling him that this guy jolly. Is going to handle it , he thought maybe sharing it with him will make the weight goes a little.
"It's not my place to tell you . you should ask him "
" he is not talking ... At all , that's why I'm here "
Alex leaned on the door and sighed . he was so tired of everything
"Get in " he simply said. " and don't mind the mess "
Jolly sat at the living room whule Alex went to his room and soon to be back with envelopes . he dropped them at the table in front of jolly
" open them and look at what's inside"

..

Andy stood in front of the mirror and looked at himself in pure hate
"I...I am ugly... "
He tugged at his hair and cried so hard . he didn't want to be here
He didn't want to live anymore .. In fact he never wanted to live .
He only wanted to be loved that's all . he wanted to be loved . he was trying his hardest To just be accepted . wanted . loved...
He just looked at his reflection in the mirror silent tears running down his pale scarred cheeks . no wonder why Alex got sick of him . Why would he bother with a broken mess of a boy . a boy who is too hard to handle . why would Alex want him . he was just a toy . a lifeless doll ....

...

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