Broken Child

nightmares

'' shhshshsh it's okay sweetheart it's okay you are okay, com on breath, com on in... Out.... In..... Out ''

This is the third time, it's 4am and still not properly sleeping
These nightmares are eating him up, he can't be in peace even in his sleep,
His hands are in his neck like he is trying to take off something that is choking him... I hold his hands as soon as his nails starts digging in his skin and drops of blood appear

''andy come on wake up... Wake up ''

And at every nightmare I wake him up, he opens his eyes but still trapped in his mind,  like he is still living the nightmare..
He is trembling,  sweating,  breathing fast, eyes wide open hands shaking,  mumbling words here and there..
Being in this situation anyone would freeze, from fear and anger...
Fear because you don't want to lose a kid with your own eyes watching him suffocating... And anger because you don't know what to do to help...

Father came to see because this time is worse than the two nightmares before,  he is not waking up

''take him to bathroom now''
I hold his thin body and put him in bathtub and my father start wetting his face with cold water just like dad told me to do

''come on wake up kid wake up ''
I watch as my father, the one who said that ''he has nothing to do with the boy'' few weeks ago now tressed and scared for Andy...

Andy now woke up looking around flinching away from my father, I go beside him to calm him down and he calms a little

'' sorry... Sso.. Ssorry Master... No mean.. W..wake.. You up.... P..lease Ssorry ''

I watch as he comes down and reaches for my feet... God I hate when he does this, I look at my dad and I see how he shook his head and sigh
'' this is pathetic '' and leaves

I go down and bring my both hands to take his face off my feet with a sad.. a very sad smile on my face

I hold his face and make him look at me with his empty yet so heavy eyes that look like they are holding all the pain of all the people alive,  and then tears starts falling down his cheeks passing by the ugly purple angry scars.. And even I could feel my own tears falling
Because I couldn't take it anymore, 

Then, I feel thin.. pale and shaky fingers in my face wiping a tear that has fallen.. He then looked at his finger and took his other hand to his face and did the same,  looking from this hand to the other where the tears wet his finger, I watched him carefully.. he looked confused,  curious, he then spoke with tiny voice

''what... This ''

Tears...

'' these are tears Andy,  you have tears when you cry ''

''cry...''

''Good boys don't cry whore but you are crying, tell me why you are crying bitch speak now ''

''h..hurt''

''hurt.....  Haha you deserve to be hurt because you are a bad boy, you are what bitch ? Say it ''

''bad.... Boy ''

He is spacing out again...
''cry.. This.. I.. Bad boy ?'' he asked titling his head
''no of course not '' I try pushing it a bit hoping he'd open up
''why you say this Andy ''

''m..master..uuh uh n..no so sorry... I..this.. Mean old Master.. Coz you.. Master now...uuh ''
He is struggling finding the words and I don't stop him at ''master '' coz I don't want him stop talking,  I want him to talk,  I want to know more and more about his past but at the same time I don't,  because I'm scared of what to hear, of what to know..

'' old... Master.. Say...B..bad..Boys..cry.. Bad boys...punish. . Deserve hurt... I..is cry now..I... Is bad..  You..Master now... Punish this ? P..lease no hurt bad... Be good.. Next time.. Not cry.. Good... Please... Not Hurt very bad.. Please.. Beg please ''
he is now just throwing words begging me not to punish him bad because he cried, what psycho hurt him because he cried, and what psycho would tell a child that they deserve to be hurt
The more he talks,  the more I'm thinking of ways to torture this psychopath who tortured this pure soul, 
''i'm not gonna punish you,  never, and no Andy you are not a bad boy, you are just a kid, and hell no Andy you don't deserve to be hurt,  you deserve to be loved,  you deserve a good life, you deserve to be cared about, and please and please call me Alex, okay can you say that say Alex ?''
He looked at me confused
''alex''

'' that's right Andy, Alex is my name, I'm not master no one is your master Andy oka..what..what's wrong Andy "

'' who....Who Master is..?. Please keep I please... No take back... I beg '' he throws himself again at my feet
''please... Keep I... Keep I.... Be good boy.. No..throw I away... Beg please beg '' he is sobbing now and I don' know what to do or say

A 15 years old boy begging me to be his ''master'' what would anyone do in this situation,?!  this is the only life the boy knows,  having a master to please,  at this point I just want to curl in my bed and pretend that all of this is bad Dream

I Had nothing to do but to hold him in my arms humming so tired
I go bed with him in my arms, he was to tired to notice that he was in a bed I held him tight and put the covers..
Trying to sleep was the most difficult task to do right now coz my mind was a mess... a giant mess...