Broken Child

survive

Tears kept on falling silently,  he was staring at the empty wall rocking himself back and forth, his skinny pale hands shaking , and his poor heart beating so loud.  He killed a person , he thought and not just some person but he killed Alex's cousin , Alex's only family left. The guilt and fear were killing him.
Jolly couldn't take the sight in front of him so he did the only good thing that came to his head
"Andy,  Andy listen to me , he is not dead " he said and Andy snapped his head up with wide eyes looking at jolly
"Matt. Matt just told me that he is not dead just hurt,  and he took him away he is not here anymore okay? So please stop crying , stop thinking about him okay "
He hugged him tightly wanting to take all the pain away from him. He hugged him in his arms afraid of losing him.
How the hell did his stoned heart became this weak, how the hell did he become so used to this boy. He cant help the way he feels , he doesn't understand why. He never ever felt anything like this before.

...

His heart dropped when he didn't find Andy in the house, where the hell would he go , he never stepped out of the house,  he tried calling him but he remembered that he never uses his damn phone , Jolly was going insane at the moment,  and just as he was about to take his car keys and go look for him, he heard a knock,
"Andy...where.... god you almost gave me a heart attack,  where have you been?"
Andy looked down on shame, he didnt mean to make him angry,  he just needed some air
"I'm... I'm sorry....I.. I just...I went for a walk.. I'm sorry " the boy mumbled looking down
Jolly sighed with a relief "I really was worried about you Andy you should've called me at least "
"I'm sorry" andy whispered
Jolly eyed him cause he was good at reading people and he knew that Andy has been out of it since the basement incident and it scared him to death
"It fine Andy,  I just worry okay, let go eat dinner is ready ".....
"I ...um..." jolly looked up from his plate at Andy who looked like he desperately needed to say something.
"What is it Andy?"
"I .. found...I um found a job..." he whispered barely being heard.. jolly frowned and hoped that he didnt hear him right "I'm sorry what ?"
Andy ripped at his fingers wity his nails  forcefully that would leave blood , he was so stressed
"I ... said.. that.. I found a um.. a job ?"
Jolly sighed frustrated
" yeah I heard you the first time Andy.. but... but why do you need a job... why are you looking for a job .. I just dont get it... why didnt you Tell me .... do you need something that I didn't bring you? God you dont even ever ask me for anything that you need .?"

"I'm I'm sorry ....I just.... just forget it ...I'm sorry "andy said with a shaking voice thinking that jolly was mad when in fact he wasn't but he was disappointed..  andy never talks to him.. never trusts him .. he did all he can to make him trust him  but it never worked. Andy stood hurriedly taking his plate to wash wanting nothing but to disappear in his room .
Guilt hit jolly when he saw how easley scared he became he sighed and rubbed his forehead in frustration
"Andy... god..I'm sorry I didnt mean to be harsh or anything I just.. I'm not mad I promise I'm not mad at you.. I just dont understand.. why are you looking for a job huh ? "

"You can talk to me Andy,  and I'll listen I won't judge you or anything I promise,  I just need you to trust me so that I can help you okay , please talk to me "
He desperately needed andy to trust him , he needed Andy to feel the same way he feels.
Andy twisted his poor fingers all together looking down , he hated the way he is , he hated how easley scared he gets,  how weak his voice is, he hated the way his body shakes and hiw nervous he gets... "I.. I..  um... I just dont.. I dont want ... to be ... burden...I want ..  to ... I dont...want... to ...um ..depend on anyone...anymore.. I'm  scared... you... you... one... day... you get ...bored of.. me... and kick me out...I need money...job.. " he let go of the breath he was holding afraid of jolly's reaction.  While jolly couldn't believe what he was hearing,  did andy really think that one day he will kick him out,  no wonder why he never trusted him,  he finally realized that Andy is always alarmed,  ready for the worst to come to him cause he was way too used to it , he always waits for the pain the hurt the suffering to come to him cause it's all he ever knew.....
"I will never kick you out okay, I won't get 'bored' or whatever you said,  andy, and you are not a burden. Okay I get it you want to be independent and it's a good thing I understand now what you want and I have no right to stop you from what you want.  I just worry alot about you and I want what's  best for you .that's all. Can you tell me what kind of job you found ?"

"Um... it's a... book..store " he said quietly
"Ow good .. good andy ... that's good I guess... is it far from here?"
He shook his head "... um... I dont know.. I just walked..and I found it .."
Jolly sighed in relief a job at a book store is not bad is it .. it's better than working at a bar he thought
"Um...  the lady... the owner.. she has this building ? .. um apartments.. she um... I can.. she said I can stay... in it and..and um she would ... take it from my.. my payment .."
He wanted to move out, he couldn't stay there not after what happened,  not after what happened in that basement,  he wanted to be free , he wanted to be independent,  he wanted to depend on himself,  he wanted to forget... he didnt want to burden anyone.

"You .. want to move out ?" Jolly's heart crushed.. he can't let him go , but he can't  keep him in either,  if he keeps him, then he won't be any different from the people who kept him in as a slave.  Andy was a free person ... he could do whatever he wanted  and jolly had no right to stop him
For the first  time ever andy decided something on his own,  for himself,  he was scared yes , he knew it will be difficult cause he barely knows anything about the outside world but he will do his best , he will survive

He will survive on his own.
He doesn't need anyone.

...

Hello people I hope you are all doing great

I'm so so so sorry for taking too long 
But here is a chapter I hope you like it
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Stay safe everyone