Broken Child

alcohol

'We live In a wolrd where weak and vulnerable people are rejected and abused and mistreated .
The human kind can be the cruelest of living kinds of all time . they kill, destroy, betray,  they cheat and lie .
They hurt others. They hurt each other
Every person dreams of power. And money even if it means stepping on other people to get it . it doesn't matter. Even stepping on the closest of people . it doesn't matter.
How can we be so blind . so ignorant of what's going on around us .
How could I be so blind and ignorant of what was happening right in front of my eyes . right in the middle of my house.
Regret will always eat me up from my insides.
My actions and my words will hunt me forever.
These wals will hunt me forever.

And he...

He... will never forgive me

He doesn't show it . but I know .. God I know him so well
He is just too nice and naive to say it
Or
He is just so deeply in love to show it.'
                                              12.02.2019
                                            Alex winter
                                                  'He'

...

"Andy ...can ..I ask you something ?"
Andy looked up from his plate and nodd . worried filled his wide eyes
He hated mornings like these where Alex is so quiet with a wine bottle and a filled cup next to him. in the morning .
"That guy . jolly ? Um... Did you and him have something ...did...you..did he.." Alex was lost in his words , he didn't know how to phrase his question he sighed out of frustration and rubbed his face with both his hands forcefully witch made his face so red and gulped the rest of the wine in his cup.
Andy knew exactly what Alex wanted to say but he was just scared to say anything . he made sure not to anger him when he is like this .
"Did you sleep with him ?" he asked again looking and Andy straight in the eyes
Andy shook his head hurriedly
"n-no no "
Alex sighed and chuckled to himself rubbing his face with his hands . he then started crying , silent tears running down his cheeks
"I'm sorry for asking you this question Andy I just...I'm just ...I uh I don't know anymore .. I really don't"
Andy tried to comfort him but didnt know how to.. So he just did the only thing he knows . he took his hand and kissed it . he held it for dear life .
He held it like he is afraid of never being able to hold it again ....
Alex took his hand away and looked at Andy with teary eyes before leaving the table with the bottle in his hand.

  'Every person in this world is dealing with a battle on their own. Some get help.. Talk about it .. To a father . a mother. A sibling or a friend . or even a stranger .
But some just shut down. Push people away. Hurt themselves and hurt others
Especially hurt the ones they love .
But it's just out of reach. Its not their fault to not being able to open up. To talk. To show their emotions and feelings . they just keep hurting themselves and people around them
I'm not perfect. Beacuse nobody is perfect.
And I'm not a good person because nobody is a good person.
I did a lot of mistakes when I was young . I tired to fix them but it was just too late . the funny thing is .. That I still commit the almost same mistakes and the funnier thing is that I still cant fix them . I even make worst mistakes.
I know I'm hurting him . I hurt him and still hurting him .
I know he won't complain because he never do. And that's what angers me the most . he is destroying me with his eyes and actions . I can't bare the way he looks at me like I'm a God or something. It kills to see him battling his night terrors alone . it kills me to know that he is still in his dark cell. And it kills me to know that I have feelings that I will never be able to show him that makes me push him away ...'

Jolly stood in front of the door, nervous .
One knock
Two
The door opened at the third knock..
The both men stared at eath other for few seconds then Alex spoke first " you.." he rose his eyebrow " how the hell did you know where we live "
"I have my ways" jolly answered back. "can I see Andy please ?"
Alex got out and closed the door like he is protecting a treasure inside
"Why ? What do you want from him ?"
Jolly chuckled and stepped back because Alex was standing too close ready to attack if necessary
" easy man . I just want to see him .why the hell are you so complicated. It's not like I'm gonna eat him "
Alex stepped closer to him again pushing him away from the door
"You are not going to see him . I want him to move on . I want him to forget those days. So no offense . just leave "
Jolly nodd and sighed He then looked deeply in Alex's eyes and said
" I know that you are trying hard to protect him now . but just don't forget to protect him from yourself first " Alex's eyes widened at what jolly just said

"And you can start protecting him by quiting alcohol " he shook his head in disappointment and left ....

...

Hey guys ...
Pealse let me know what you think of this and the last two chapters

Do you think what jolly did in the last chapter is the right thing to do

Whta do you think of Alex's feelings

Please vote and comment

Love ..