Broken Child

rest in peace... Sam

'' Alex look at my drawing isn't it beautiful look''
Sam held his paper for  Alex to see the beautiful house and trees he drew,  the beautiful green colour dominating the white paper,  a big smile on his face, looking for someone to be proud of him, momy left and daddy is working, so there is only Alex in his room locked, drunk...

''how many times should I tell you to knock before you come in, why don't you listen ''

Sam's smile fade,  like always, he always tries to make things better..
But they never seem to get better....

''i'm sorry, I won't come in again''

he drops the paper and leaves,  he went to his room crying,

he misses his mommy, she left them without saying anything, or as I think, there is always more that I don't know

  he misses daddy who's goes working for days, and sometimes weeks

he misses his big brother, who's always out drunk,  and angry..

Sam grew silent and quiet not bothering his father and brother always keeping his secrets to himself
Listening to thier fights both of them blame each other for not caring,  for being selfish and cold,  they fight everyday, and sometimes they don't talk to each other for weeks,  their house became darker and darker everyday, after their mom left, everything was ruined.... Oh how they miss her and hate her at the same time

He never told them about the bullies at school
He never told them about the bad marks he gets at school

He never told them about th girl he likes

He never told them about his depression

He never told them about anything

And They didn't ask...

One day they get a call from a police man telling them that Sam was hit by a car, but the car driver said that the boy threw himself on the moving car...
Sam died two days after the accident..

The accident left them shocked, both Alex and his father blaming themselves for being so careless, not wanting to believe that Sam committed suicide...
....

'' whene will we meet again sweetheart... Whene Will we meet again...''
I sing these words everytime I visit Sam's grave, It's been five years but I still remember that day, I still remember Sam's cold body...

'' Sam, I'm here again,  I miss you so bad,  I'm so sorry, I'll keep saying it till the day I die,  I will never forgive myself Sam...  Sam... Sam i promis I'll be a good brother to Andy,  if you could only see him,  you'll crying your eyes out, poor kid... Rest in peace Sam.. ''

I look at the sky and continue singing

''i'll sit and mour all on your grave

for twelve months and a day...

And when twelve months and a day had passed,

the ghost did rise and speak...

Why do you sit all on my grave and will not let me sleep

Tis I Tis I, your own true love
That sits all on your grave

I ask one kiss

From your sweet lips

And that is all I crave... ''

I let my tears freely fall I don't even bother to wash them away as I walk home ....
....