Broken Child

cigarettes and tattoos

Looking at the cracked mirror on the wall, eyes red, dark circles painted  around them, proof of his long sleepless nights, he couldnt keep looking at himself for so long, he was so disgusted with the way he looks like,  his hair that has been died blue a month ago was now fading , letting the pale blonds  show, tho they are more gray than blond, giving him a sickly look. He hated it . He sucked the rest of his cigarette with his pale, chapped lips. He hated how the cigarette tasted like, he still remember the first day he tried it, with jolly. Still bitter. But good, he liked it. Because he knew that something as simple as a cigarette can kill him, slowly but surely. He liked it. So as the feather tattoo he just got on his neck. Making the burn scar disappear replacing it with a beautiful gray feather. The owner warned him that it's gonna hurt pretty bad. But he didnt mind, in fact he liked the feeling of the needle on his neck. He loved it witch is why he decided having an other tattoo at the back of his neck on top of an other burn scar.
"Again, its gonna hurt "the guy said looking at his reflection on the mirror then  eyeing the burn scar behind his neck that was covered with his fading blue hair
Andy just shrugged and said "I know"

As simple as it sounds, he became a little bit addicted to pain. He wanted to feel pain. Witch is why he came back to his appartment with a complete stranger he met at the bar. Letting the stranger use him as he sees fit. He doesn't care anymore. He didnt mind being used that way.
"So, how much money you take?" said the stranger after having his way with Andy. The smaller just shook his head .
The stranger eyed him while Andy was putting back his ripped jeans. He didnt take his shirt off. He'd never take it off.
"What's your name, I hate having sex with people without knowing their names. Tho I know we just had sex but ... what's your name?"
"You should go .." andy whispered without sparing a glance towards the guy.
"What ? You are so weird dude, you brought me to your appartment, asked me to be 'rough' and now you kicking me out. Come on dude I like you, let's do it some other time yeah ? You are definitely a masochist and I.." he said approaching Andy and grabbed  him forcefully from his jaw "love people like you" he continued with a husky voice full  of desire.
Andy gathered the little strength he had and pushed the guy away from him, taking out the pocked knife he bought recently "g-get out .." he said trembling with fear and shock.  The guy took his jacket and stumbled out yelling "you're crazy dude"
Andy Fell on the ground letting out a shaking breath , hands on his chest, a way to calm himself. Then Suddenly he ran to the bathroom to throw up, how pathetic,  he thought.

...

Jolly sighed and rolled his eyes at sight of Alex at his door. Turning back inside
"Yeah well. I'm not happy to see you either " Alex said following jolly inside the house
"What do you want Alex?" Asked jolly with a bored voice,  taking his place on his couch. 
"I want to see Andy, please call him"
Jolly Chuckled shaking his head
Annoyed with Jolly's behavior Alex responded "I dont think I said a joke or something so I dont understand What's so funny to you"
"What do you want with Andy?" Jolly's amused face now serious "what do you still need from him huh ?" He said standing up facing Alex
"That's none of you business, just, never mind. Andy...Andy?" He yelled running inside the house looking for the pale boy he want to see so desperately.
"Yell all you want , he is not here to hear you " alex turned abruptly
"What do you mean he is not here, where is he ?" 
" he doesn't live here anymore,  he moved out " he said sitting back .
Alex looked at him like he had just grown two heads "moved out ?"
"What the fuck do you mean by 'moved out' ?he.. he can't move out jolly he can't, tell me you're joking.."
Jolly looked at his hands,  not really finding what to say.
"What's the matter with you , why.. why aren't you speaking?" He yelled
"YES HE MOVE OUT , HE WANTED TO MOVE OUT, WHAT DID YOU WANT ME TO DO, LOCK HIM IN ?" Jolly yelled back
"YES YOU FUCKING LOCK HIM IN . HE .. HE CANT LIVE ALONE JOLLY YOU KNow it " he ran his hands through his hair breathing heavily. "I cant believe you, I fucking trusted you with him"
Jolly pushed him off angrily
"HEY, YOU AND I BOTH KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO HIM, so don't fucking play all affectionate and caring with me now, don't put all the  fucking blame on me , get it "
"I know well what I did, that's why I'm here,   where is he jolly ? Please tell me"
"I'll take you , but ..." jolly said
"But what ?" Alex said back

"you are not gonna like what you are going to see"

..

Andy knelt in front of his toilet seat breathing heavily, hair stuck to his face from sweat. He weakly lighted up a cigarette, inhaling the toxic nicotine in. Trying to calm down
"One..... two.... in... out...." he said to himself.
He slowly stood up to wash his mouth and face , feeling weak to take a shower,  he is dirty anyways. So why bother. Why wasting water,  no matter how much he scrubbed he will always be dirty.
He flinched when he heard the knock on the door,  he was afraid that it could  be the guy from before, he was trying to get his knife from his pocket when suddenly the door was open...
Jolly, he has the key to his appartment, he told him before that he wont be leaving before having a spare key to check on him, he didnt trust Andy living alone,  he didnt trust a suicidal living alone.
"Andy it's me.." he heard jolly saying then he appeared in fron of him at the bathroom door.

But what he didnt expect was seeing the figure behind jolly  looking back at him with wide, chocked eyes.

...

And an other chapter I finished as an apology for taking way to long to update

I hope you like it

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Stay safe