A/n: idea given by Christy_Muse_Pcjax
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I sit in the helicopter I was rescued is completely numb. I rarely let myself get close with people for this very reason. To save myself from the loss of them. To save myself from the pain.
I stare at the miles of forest beneath me. Scorpia always enjoyed putting their bases in the middle of nowhere. Sometimes I wonder how I got into this mess. Into the routine of going on a mission, getting captured, tortured, and then escaping back into MI6's clutches. My other captors. Sometimes I wish that I had just left my uncles death alone. Then I wouldn't be caught up in all this chaos. I wouldn't know Alan Blunt, I wouldn't know Tulip Jones, I woulda know people from the CIA, or from military bases across the country. I wouldn't know how to kill, use weapons, aim a gun, surpress extreme amounts of pain, or how to be an assassin, a job I learned on a mission or two. If I had left his death alone then I wouldn't be alone. I would have Jack and T- and I would have Tom. My two best friends. They would still be alive today if it weren't for me.
Once we reach the familiar bank, I lead myself to Blunt's office in silent remorse. I don't bother knocking and just walk straight in. Not to my surprise Mrs. Jones is sitting right next to Blunt. They both turn to look at me as I enter and I keep a emotionless look on my face even though all I want to do is cry. I want to cry over my best friends death, like I did over his dead body after they killed him. Scorpia took away the only people I loved.
"Alex," Blunt says gruffly. I nod my head in a not so kind acknowledgment. After all he did basically get my entire family killed.
"Alex are you okay?" Mrs. Jones asks in concern. Blunt brushes her concern off and speaks once again.
"Report?" He orders. I know what he wants. A mission report as always.
"Alan," Jones scolds But she is once again ignored.
"Scorpia's plan to destroy the schools was their last idea. So far they have had no improvements in their attacks," I report in a monotone voice. He only grunts in return basically dismissing me.
"Alex I think you should see a doctor," Jones says concerned. I furrow my eyebrows before a wave of pain hits me. I don't show any signs of pain like I have been trained to do. I was so numb because of Tom's death that I didn't fell the excruciating pain throughout my body.
I nod in return to Mrs. Jones knowing that I should probably see a doctor. Usually I can patch myself up but I think well I know that a rib punctuated my lung. I also feel that I may have internal bleeding but nobody need to know that yet.
I stand up and head to the door but just as I turn the knob Blunt speaks up yet again.
"I'm sending you to Brecons with that unit and Sargent that you've become fond of," he says and I don't answer him except for slamming his office door shut.
I walk to the medical department to get checked out where doctors immediately swarm me. Just great.
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As the car pulls up to the familiar military base I hop out and grab my backpack of stuff. My body aches in pain at the movement but not enough to prevent me from doing anything. It turns out I had well have 3 broken ribs and a few broken bones but it's not too bad. The only pain I am focused on right now is the empty spot in my chest.
Sargent greets me with a hand shake and I return the gesture politely.
"How've you been kid?" He asks in his deep, rough voice. I manage to find my own voice for just a second to reply. I don't want to be rude after all.
"I've been fine sir," I reply and he nods.
"I'm always here if you need me. You know where your unit is Cub," Sargent tells me. I take that as a dismissal and turn to walk towards k-units cabin. Before I leave though his voice stops me once more.
"Your unit is there for you too. They have your back," he tells me before leaving in the opposite direction. They have your back
I continue my walk towards the cabin that the unit is always in with a small bag on my shoulder. When I finally reach it I don't hesitate to go in. All movement stops in the cabin when I enter.
"Cub?" Snake asks in shock. I spare him a small smile before Eagle comes barreling towards me.
"Cub!" He yells delighted as he pulls me into a tight hug. I cringe a bit at the pain come from my ribs. Snake sees and immediately pulls Eagle off of me. Snake allows me to walk into the cabin more and sit down on the bed I have reserved as my own. I glance up at the two who have been abnormally quiet. Ben meets my eye and slowly walks up to me reaching to put a hand on my shoulder.
"Welcome back Cub. Glad your safe kid," he says kindly. I give him a small smile, which he returns, before looking up at the last member of k-unit. When I lock my eyes on Wolf it looks as if he's looking strait through my facade. God how I hope that's not true. Wolf snaps out of whatever trance he was in and looks up to meet my gaze.
"Hey Cub," he says in a calm but deep voice. I nod my head in return before Snake begins fussing over me.
"What injuries do you have? Where were you? Did you see a doctor or a medic or something? Tell me what injustice do you have?" He fusses. I roll my eyes along with the rest of the unit sighing at his motherly like qualities.
"I saw a doctor I'm fine," I assure him. Snake sighs and I know he doesn't just want o leave it but he reluctantly does.
"It's about time for dinner," Fox says nodding at me to follow the rest of the unit.
"No thanks," I say while shaking my head.
"You sure?" Snake asks and I nod in return. The unit all sigh but give in, leaving me alone in the cabin. I lay down on my back and but my hands on my face. I sigh and before I know it there's a single tear falling down my face. I wipe it off my face but it's quickly replaced by another.
"You okay Cub?" A voice asks, startling me. I snap my head up to Wolf's broad form leaning against the doorway. I quickly wipe away my tears before answering him.
"I'm fine," I say but even I can tell that it's a lie. Wolf walks closer and sits next to my stretched out form on the bed.
"Did you just lie to me?" He asks in a light tone. I snort a laugh at this.
"Maybe," I tell him and my tears have come back again.
"What happened?" He asks gently and that's when Sargent's words come back to me. They have your back. And for once I believe that.
A sob racks through my body and Wolf is quick to sit me up and put a comforting arm around my shoulders. "Everyone I care about is dead now," I manage to get out. Wolf just sits there and listens to me. "My parents died when I was a child, my uncle died, my housekeeper and close friend Jack died and now," I say but pause when another sob comes out. "Now my best friend my only friend at that, the only other person in this world who cared about me, he's d- now he's dead as well and it's all my fault. If- if I never got involved in this dangerous world then I would never have had to watch my best friend die," I rant. I cry more and wolf hugs my shaking form.
"It's not you fault Cub. It's not. And you have me. You have me, I care about you. Snake, Fox, and Eagle do too. Cub- Alex, you still have people who care about you. I'm sorry about your loved ones but the unit will always be here for you no matter what. And as much as I wish you never got involved in this world at such a young age, there's nothing else to do except live. Live for the ones you lost instead of yourself because you'll find that you have a reason to move on. If they cared for you as much as you care for them then I think that's what they would want, right?" Wolf says and I nod my head into his shoulder. I stay in his arms for a bit longer and for once I feel happy.
I am cared for. I still have people I care for and who care for me. And I will live. I will live for them. I will live for John and Helen. I will continue on with my life for Ian, for Jack, and for Tom. I will live for them, for the people that I love.
I will live.
