Squidward's Silent Love (Squidward X Silent! Reader (Broadway version))

Chapter Twenty-Five: No Control

"Impending disaster: a special bulletin. We've just learned the Bikini Bottom is under threat from a terrifying volcano doom; and now, a live statement from the mayor of our town."

Everyone turned to the mayor, "ladies and gentlefish if this mountain erupts, orange rivers of steaming lava will obliterate all we know and love!" Everyone muttered in fear, "don't worry, your government has everything under control. I'm starting an initiative to assemble a committee to identify a strategy to evaluate the situation. In the meantime, all citizens must report home and remain indoors. The threat level is now Code Orange."

Everyone scrambled away in fear except for Spongebob, Squidward, and (Y/N) who scrambled about before facing each other.

"I don't understand why everyone is so worried. Sure, that volcano might destroy everything. But on the other hand, it might... not," Spongebob said trying to stay positive.

"When are you gonna learn, Spongebob? The world is a horrible place filled with fear, suffering, and despair," Spongebob went to say something but Squidward interrupted him and proceeded to count with his fingers, "also dashed hopes, shattered dreams, broken promises, and abject misery."

"But it's our horrible place..." Spongebob said taking Squidward's hand, "with the best abject misery there is," he swung their hands back and forth.

Squidward was disgusted that Spongebob was holding his hand. He made a sound of disgust and walked away with (Y/N).

"They'll see, everything is under control. Right?" Spongebob asked Perch Perkins.

Perch Perkins smoothed out his hair and walked towards Spongebob, 'no fish knows the future, not a single shark or soul; it's all deranged, no control...'

Spongebob took his microphone, "don't you think you're being a little negative?"

'The town is under curfew, the fish-police are on patrol; it's all deranged, no control...'

'No control!'

Let's go to Squidward inside his home, 'stuck here at home, but I'm not upset! An evening alone with my clarinet!' He tried to play his clarinet but made a horrible noise.

Now let's go to Patrick's house, 'this could take a while, so I should relax, but the stores are all closed and I'm-'

'Out of snacks! No control!'

Spongebob casually walked into Sandy's tree dome like there was no disaster going on.

"Spongebob, what are you doing out of your Pineapple?" Sandy asked, "everyone's supposed to be inside!"

"It's going to be fine Sandy. The Mayor said she'll handle it. And everyone knows, you can always trust the government," Spongebob tried to walk away but Sandy stopped him.

"Well... I've got news hot off the griddle," Sandy opened her calculations and Spongebob held one end, "I did some calculations, and that volcano is gonna erupt, as sure as a rhinestone cowboy at a disco rodeo. I figured out when too. It's gonna happen at sundown... tomorra!" Sandy dropped all the papers on Spongebob's foot.

"Okay, Sandy, but I don't think-"

"I'm as serious as a guacamole shortage at a taco party!" A projector screen was wheeled in with multiple slides of calculations, "I determined the timeline through analysis of... seismic activity, gas emissions, geomagnetic and gravimetric changes. Over the next 36 hours... tremors will increase and boulders will fall, eventually leading to a cataclysmic eruption which will completely destroy Bikini Bottom! The end... is nigh!"