Squidward's Silent Love (Squidward X Silent! Reader (Broadway version))

Chapter Twenty-Two: Accidents will happen

The Krusty Krab was completely surrounded by boats and angry customers were crowding the restaurant. Was Spongebob having one of his freeze moments again? That only happens when a food critic comes but something was off. The customers weren't this angry if that was ever the case. A customer came up to me asking where Squidward was. He should be at his post.

Confused, I went up to the cash register to see no Squidward. I checked the bottom of the boat to make sure he wasn't taking a nap like he always does but he wasn't there. I know Squidward is here because we walked here together so where was he? I went into Mr. Krabs' office and gave him my whiteboard. I told him that Squidward had disappeared. Mr. Krabs took my hand and dragged me into the kitchen with him.

"Spongebob! Where in Poseidon's pantyhose is that sorry excuse for a cashier?!" Mr. Krabs asked.

"Sorry excuse for a cash-? Ooh! You mean Squidward," Spongebob said.

Mr. Krabs sighed, "yes. I mean Squidward. Where is he?!"

"He's in the storage room. Says he's working on something requiring... complete privacy," Spongebob whispered the last part.

"Ooh. He requires privacy does he?"

The was a sudden sound of a chain snapping followed by a loud crash. We burst into the storage room to see the shelf that held the Patty buns had partly collapsed and the buns were scattered in a heap on the floor. Squidward emerged from the pile, rubbing his head and groaning. Mr. Krabs ran over, crying over the Patty buns that were on the floor. He kept crying until Squidward yelled his name, gaining his attention at last. 

"Your shelf collapsed on me, and twisted my ankle!" Squidward lifted his leg which was badly twisted.

"I didn't even know you had ankles," Mr. Krabs said.

"As if working here wasn't bad enough, now I've been injured on the job."

"Injured? On the job?! Oh no! That would mean..."

"It's all right here, Mr, Krabs," we turned to Spongebob who moved some boxes aside to reveal an OWS poster, "the Bikini Bottom OWS Worker Safety Guidelines. Let's see, it says here... blah blah blah blah, accident... blah blah blah blah, owner negligence... blah blah blah blah, substantial fines."

"Substantial fines?!" Mr. Krabs turned to Squidward laughing nervously, "you know, Squidward... uh... I can't really let the OWS hear about this, you know."

Squidward smirked, "really? Maybe I should give them a call," he picked up a phone.

"Now now, Squidward! Let's not be hasty!" Squidward put the phone down, "I'll take care of your poor little ankle personally. Spongebob! Squidward needs first aid!"

Spongebob looked delighted and ran over to Squidward wearing a hospital hat, jacket and stethoscope. Spongebob took Squidward's nose and ran his stethoscope over it. Squidward told him to let go so he did. Squidward took the end of the stethoscope and shouted at Spongebob to get away from him. Spongebob shook from the yell and hit his eardrums to make it stop.

"Well, that is it! I am reporting you to the OWS!" Squidward told Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs screamed, "please don't report me to the OWS. I'll do anything. Anything at all ya ask."

I already knew this was gonna be interesting. Why did Mr. Krabs say that? Squidward asked Mr. Krabs to carry him to a table and to give him a pillow for his back and his ankle. Squidward then asked the weirdest question. Fluff it. Squidward wanted Mr. Krabs... to fluff the pillow. Now, in my defence, when we made Mr. Krabs do the most ridiculous things when he had the Krusty Towers, we were doing to show him how unreasonable people can be with his rule but this... this was uncalled for. I'm just praying it doesn't get worse from here. Lunch rush came around and, to make it worse, it was with anchovies. Thankfully, we survived the lunch rush. Spongebob came out the back with a clipboard.

"Oh, Mr. Krabs, I have the OWS accident report form to fill out. Let's see, Question one: was the accident the result of criminal negligence?" Mr. Krabs screamed again, "Mr. Krabs, what is criminal negligence?"

Mr. Krabs took the clipboard off of Spongebob, "it's what criminals wear to bed. Don't worry about that. We don't need to bother those nice folks over at the OWS. We can do our own investigation."

"Oh, you mean we should find out if you're criminally negligent."

"Well, no, not exactly, what I mean is..." he leaned over to us and whispered, "I think Mr. Squidward is hiding something and I want you two to investigate."

I had to agree. There must have been a reason Squidward was in there in the first place. Yes, I know Spongebob said he was working on something but why didn't he tell us what he was working on after the accident? Spongebob, Patrick and I went into the storage room to try and find out what happened.

Spongebob placed Patrick next to the shelf I was told to hold up and put some buns on the shelf. Patrick was told to pretend that he was Squidward and reach for a bun. Patrick does so. And I was told to simulate slamming the shelf into him.  I slammed the shelf into Patrick, who screamed and stumbled around, dizzy, before falling over.

We had where Squidward was laying outlined to know where Patrick had to fall and he didn't fall into place. We tried over and over again but the pieces weren't falling into place. Figuratively and physically. Squidward wasn't standing so where was he? Spongebob thought something was missing so he decided to call the OWS. We went to the main room to see the OWS manager.

"Squidward, after all I've done for you, you've called the OWS?!" Mr Krabs asked.

I do have a few questions. Why is Squidward wearing a towel around his waist? Why are there candles all over the place? And what in the world has Squidward made Mr Krabs do?

"He didn't call them, Mr Krabs, we did," Spongebob told him, "I needed help investigating the accident. Right buddy?"

Patrick was still loopy from the number of times I slammed the shelf into him.

"Well I, for one, plan to give him my full cooperation," Squidward said.

Squidward somehow managed to get a wheelchair with a cast around his head, arm and leg. He was fully dressed again as well. Also, last time I checked, he twisted his ankle. This is ridiculous. We went into the storage room and the OWS manager asked what happened.

"I'll be glad to... I mean, I can re-live the whole tragic episode, if I must," Squidward struggled to get up from the wheelchair, "it was just another day at the Krusty Krab. I was at the register, giving it a nice shining between orders, when something caught my eye; a patty bun with ten seeds, instead of eleven. I wasn't about to stand idly by and allow a customer to go without all his guaranteed nutrients and vitamins. 'I must replace it with a proper bun!', I said. I dashed into action. That's when I entered the back room to grab a new bun. Just as I was about to reach for one, I heard a slight creak, and that's when the chain snapped, and then, slam! My heroic and brave actions were halted by an unsafe shelf. Disoriented and in pain, I collapsed and lay for nearly six hours crying softly for help. The worst part, though, is... is that I didn't get that kind gentleman his new bun."

Okay, one: this is very out of character for Squidward, two: it was clearly he wasn't standing when he fell from all the tests we did on Patrick.

"Hmmm, I see. As you know, certain penalties are involved..." the manager said.

"Oh, no..."

The manager typed in random numbers while Mr. Krabs cried, "one... dollar."

Mr. Krabs cried over a dollar but then remember that there was a surveillance camera. We went to his office and looked over the tape. Turns out Squidward lied. He was sleeping on the shelf when the chain snapped and he fell on the floor unharmed under the buns. I knew he was lying! Mr. Krabs got his revenge by making Squidward pop the barnacles on his back.