Squidward's Silent Love (Squidward X Silent! Reader (Broadway version))

Chapter Twenty-Eight: The Electric Skates

In the theatre, we see someone in a cloak hollering out to the crowd making their way to the stage. They were handing out Programs for the show. They gave one to a young girl for free. They made their way to the stage. The cloaked person successfully made it to the stage and revealed themself to be Spongebob's number one fan: Patchy the Pirate!

"Oh! Ha-ha! I made it in!" Patchy raised his arms victoriously as the audience erupted in applause, "ha! Yes! Ha-ha! They can't keep me out; I'm Patchy the Pirate, Spongebob's number one fan!" The audience cheered again, "You know after they wouldn't let me in because I'm a pirate, I wandered the streets, until I happened upon a Pirate Dive Bar, and it was there, talkin' to me fellow Buccaneers that gave me the courage to come back with a message, on behalf of all victims of pirate prejudice. In fact, I wrote a protest song!"

Patchy took out a music sheet from his coat and gave it to the conductor who took out their accordion and started to play.

'Let me begin with a hardy-ho-ho and a tail that nobody tells well; I've not come all the way from En-C-I-N-O to be treated like sewage that smells! Some of us just want adventures, the open sea wind in our earrings... why are we constantly misunderstood? Don't you know pirates have feelings?' Patchy made a heart with his hook and hand.

A group of pirates holding random objects to make music slowly entered the theatre and messed with the audience.

'Poor pirates, P-O-O-arrrr; Poor pirates, P-O-O-arrrr! Poor pirates, can't deny this simple truth! Poor pirates, P-O-O-arrr-'

'People too! Me friends from the Dive Bar!"

The pirates hollered and walked towards the stage to join Patchy.

'Think of hard we have had it.'

'So hard!'

'Out on ships, there is not much to eat.'

'Oooh, not much to eat!'

'And dentists hate pirate insurance!'

'Yo-ho, no! Which is why we've so many gold teeth!'

'Way too many gold teeth..!' A male pirate sang.

'Me laundry stays damp and me boots start to stink; and me fingernails filthy and...'

'...dirty!'

'Me internet loads unbelievably slow...'

'And me bedtime's around seven-thirty! Poor pirates, P-O-O-arrrr; poor pirates, P-O-O-arrrr! Poor pirates have it so much worse than you!'

'Poor pirates, P-O-O-arrr! Oh-oh-oh-oh!'

'Poor pirates, P-O-O-arrrr! Poor pirates, can't deny this simple truth; that pirates, P-O-O-arrr...'

'...People too!'

All the pirates huddled together and posed finishing their song as the audience cheered for them.

"Hey! Hey! Everybody off stage!" A security guard told all of them.

"No, you can't kick us out! We're making a stand, am I right, boys?" The pirates nodded and hollered in agreement.