STUCK IN PAIN (UNEDITED)

Chapter 40: Sunsets and Darkness

-CALVIN'S POV-

I ARRIVED AT OUR HOUSE soaking wet, I just came from downtown with Dawn nung biglang umulan kaya napilitan kaming maglakad nung nasiraan yung kotseng sinasakyan namin pauwi. And while were walking, we walk by a cliff that we don't normally stop to admire the view. Not to mention that it is actually a very beautiful 360° view of our city while the sun sets.

Now I wonder why we didn't even thought of stopping everytime we come by here.

Sunsets..

I still remember how Dawn used to squirm every time the clock hits golden hour, so kanina I asked her if she wanted to have a picture with the breathtaking view, which she gladly said yes. Then after taking couple of pictures habang naglalakad ay nadaanan kami ng kotse namin kaya agad kaming sumakay para iuwi si Dawn sa kanila since iisang daan lang naman kami. Which I thank God dahil malayo-layo pa ang aming bahay but sana nagtagal tagal pa bago dumating ang aming kotse.

You know what, I can still remember and will never forget how much Dawn loves the sunset and moon. I can still recall the times we've spent and every sunset ay kukulitin niya akong kunan ko siya ng litrato kasama ang paglubog ng araw kahit na paulit-ulit lang ang mukha o tanawin ay di siya pumapayag na di makunan ng litrato ang ganda ng paglubog ng araw at pagpalit ng araw sa buwan.

Everywhere we go, kahit anong bansa pa yan, even though were only in one sky, she will never forget nor let the sky pass without a picture of it.

I never understood why sunsets are captivating for others, especially Dawn. It's like, I can't see the hype, cause seriously, it's just a g*ddamn sky, moon, sunsets, not until Dawn explained and let me understand how amazing and beautiful endings can be.

"Just a perfect name for her.. Dawn."

She let me opened my eyes to see the other side of it. The beautiful side of sunsets but now, honestly, I don't know if I can still watch sunsets the way I've viewed or seen it. Because the way I would watch it with Dawn- having our dates together during sunset- and now, knowing it's not gonna happen anymore? Just sucks.

"I think it's impossible." I unconsciously said as I look at Dawn's pictures kanina na I'm about to send to her. I'm holding my laptop and just sent the pictures.

"Hoping you like..." I said as I type the words that came out of my mouth.

"Wait. No." I told myself and erased the words I typed in the chatbox. "It should be, 'you look beau-' fvck no. She might be scared." I scolded myself and erased the words again.

"Fvck me." I harshly told myself and gave up. Leaving the convo without any message aside from the pictures I sent her.

After sending it to her, I immediately deleted the 20 photos I took of her to guard my heart at pumunta sa google photos but to my surprise, naroon pa ang isang album ni Dawn na puno ng sunset at pictures niya together with the moon.

Not to mention, our pictures together during red carpets, carpool, magazines, shooting, any other events na di namin napost online.

"Fuck..." I cursed under my breath as I scroll and look each photo of her nung mga panahong kami pa at okay pa ang lahat.

I thought na delete ko na to sa phone ko...

'Well, guess, di mo nadelete sa google photos mo.'

"I should stop. I should stop." I strictly said at hinampas ang cellphone saking unan at agad ding kinuha upang ipagpatuloy ang ginagawa nung napunta pala sa 'search' ang aking cellphone at doon lumantad ang iba't-ibang articles about her, some are ours. Di ko naman mapigilang umiling-iling habang binabasa ang ilan sa mga titulo ng artikulo dahil alam naman nating walang pawang katotohanan ang lahat, if not, exaggerated naman.