Director: Dear Chairman. I don't give a damn about your committee and its opinions of my work! Have you forgotten sir, we were at war? A fight with an alien race for the very survival of our species? I feel I must remind you, that it is an undeniable, and, may I say, a fundamental quality of Man, that when faced with extinction, every alternative is preferable!
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Slade motions Wash and Church inside.
Slade: Get in, get in, get in!
Soldier: Over here, over here!
Washington: Get that door!
Slade throws a grenade through the doorway and it explodes as he shuts it and shoots the keypad.
Church: What's the status up here?
Grif: Fucked up, 'bout to die, Simmons is a nerd... the usual.
Sarge: Looks like we've got at least half a dozen squads out there. They know our position, and we're outgunned.
Washington: So, what's the plan?
Sarge: Well we were gonna retreat down the hall until you just brought more guards up that way, so now the plan's pretty much to go down swinging. You first.
Grif: Hey Simmons, can you get back on that computer and change my affiliation from Red to Freelancer?
Simmons: Traitor.
Grif: Hey, you gotta go with the winner.
Caboose: Um, could you change my job title to something more important like astronaut-oh, I know, Space Marine!
Church: What are you idiots doing?
Simmons: This computer has all of Command's records.
Church: It does? Records on everybody?
Simmons: Yeah. You know, theoretically.
Simmons alt-tabs the screen to from BLUES DELETED to something else.
Simmons: Hup du-doo, doo doo, nothin' to see here, doo doo doo doo...
Church: Oh great, now I'll show you that you're wrong.
Washington: What an excellent idea.
Simmons: Wrong about what?
Church: Wash and Slade have been trying to convince me that I'm an A.I.
Grif: Huh? Why would they do that?
Slade: Because he's bloody transparent? He can take over other people, you know, that kind of stuff?!
Grif: That's because he's a ghost, dude.
Church: Thank you, that's what I said.
South: How the hell is Hawkeye over here an A.I.?
Slade: He's the Alpha, lass.
South: WHAT?!
Church: What part of 'ghost' refuses to enter your skull?
Slade: Says the guy who still has yet to accept the fact that he still can't see his face nor even take off that helmet?!
Washington: If he's a ghost, why aren't any of the other soldiers turning into ghosts?
YOU ARE READING
Red vs Blue: Heavy 'META'L
AdventureAfter the events of Blood Gulch, Slade, AKA Agent California, rescues his friend Washington from the Meta before he was killed. Together, they reunite the Reds and Blues in order to take down the Meta before he gets his hands on all the AIs made by...
