Red vs Blue: Heavy 'META'L

Think You Know Someone

At the desert, Tucker casually rolls out of the cave.

Tucker: Uh, hey guys. Sorry about that.

Caboose: Tucker, where did you get that?

Tucker: Oh, this is my ride! The aliens gave it to me as a gift. Pretty fuckin cool.

Grif: Did they give you driving lessons too?

Tucker: No, we kinda skipped that part. But it looks awesome.

Slade: Why the hell would the Elites give you a Chopper?

Tucker: 'Chopper'? Do you see any spinning blades on this thing, dude?

Kan: No, you imbecile! That's what your vehicle is called! We were the ones who named the damned machine!

Tucker: I still think Chopper doesn't fit.

Slade: Okay, we are not getting into another bloody argument about ridiculous names for ridiculous looking vehicles! We're right! You're wrong! The pin's been put in this conversation!

Meanwhile, Headcase is being pursued by some of the Elites. He then collides with one of them.

Headcase: Ahh! Move, you piece of shit!

The Elite crashes into a pillar, losing Headcase He goes to look for him. After a short while, Headcase honks his horn and rams into the Elite's vehicle, destroying it.

Caboose: There he is.

Tucker: You guys follow him. I'll cut him off.

Caboose: We can't lose Church.

Tucker: We won't!

Caboose: You always say that, but we always do!

Slade: We won't this time, lad! I promise!

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Back at Valhalla, South looks at the engine while Simmons tries to start the Warthog.

Simmons: Godammit, it won't start.

Lopez: [He probably took out the starter. That's what I would do.]

Simmons: Hmm, it looks like he took out the starter.

Lopez: [Really. Well, no shit.]

South: Great. It's not exactly like we can ask him to put it back, can we?

Donut: What do we do?

Lopez: [Stay in there! We'll push the car. You pop the clutch!]

Donut: It's no good. (sniffling) We can't do anything!

South: I think I get Lopez is trying to do. (follows Lopez's movements)

Lopez: [Seriously. We only need to push it about ten meters!]

Donut: All hope is lost.

The Meta is seen approaching from a distance.

Simmons: Oh no, the Meta!

Lopez: [Oh, shit.]

Donut: What are we gonna do without any ammo? We're trapped.

Simmons: Ha. This thing always has ammo. (hops on the turret)