Red vs Blue: Heavy 'META'L

Relocated (4)

Sarge drives up in the jeep and gets out.

Sarge: Now this is more like it! Great job on the simulator, Lopez. Good work on the power, Simmons.

Simmons: Thank you, sir!

Grif: Simmons?! I'm the one that was almost killed just so you could get the electricity back on.

Sarge: Yep, but it was worth it.

Grif: You say that every time I'm almost killed.

Flashback to Blood Gulch as Simmons runs up to Sarge.

Simmons: Sarge! Grif was spying on the blues and they captured him!

Sarge: What'd he find out? Are they planning something?

Simmons: No, they were standing around talking, like always. But now they're gonna kill him!

Sarge: Well, it was worth it.

Flash to Sarge and Simmons talking inside Red Base.

Sarge: The base looks so clean Simmons! Excellent work.

Simmons: Yeah, too bad Grif was almost killed by his allergic reaction to the cleaning supplies.

Grif is seen laying in a pool of blood.

Sarge: It was worth it!

Flash to Sarge and Simmons standing, with Grif on floor between them and on fire.

Sarge: Worth it.

Flash to present.

Sarge: Only because it's always true. There's very few tasks that wouldn't balance out by you making the ultimate sacrifice.

Simmons: At least this time we got something out of it. We got power, and a new weapon!

Sarge: Let's test this bad boy out.

Sarge mounts on the turret of Warthog at points it at Grif.

Grif: Whoa, wait a second. Does this hologram jeep shoot hologram slugs, or real slugs?

Kan: Knowing your sergeant? Real slugs.

Sarge: As long as we are in this room, everything will seem real to us. It's all simulated, but your mind makes it real.

Simmons: Ooh, like the Matrix!

Lopez: [Right, but without all the Eastern philosophy stuff that no one understands]

Grif: Alright, fuck this. I'm going to stand over there.

Sarge: Well guess what, dirtbag? I don't need you for target practice anymore. I've got my own holo-Grif programed into the system already.

Lopez makes a holo-Grif.

Holo-Grif: Hello! I am literally the worst program ever made!

Simmons: It sounds like someone hasn't used Google Chrome...

Kan: Keep your computer comments to yourself.

Sarge: Locked and loaded, ready to fire at the bloated. Grif... I mean, fake Grif... go stand over there.

Holo-Grif: Cool... Whatever...

Holo-Grif runs to center of room.

Sarge: This is a magnetized propulsion system. It can fire massive slugs at an outrageous velocity! Check it out.