Red vs Blue: Heavy 'META'L

Visiting Hours

Sarge is running towards Blue Base, followed by Grif, Simmons, and Slade.

Sarge: Come on, men! Lopez said Donut went this way!

Grif: Are you sure that's what he said? I don't think pendejo was Spanish for "that way."

Slade: You don't wanna know what he said, mate. Especially since I wanna do the same whole-heartedly.

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Inside Blue Base, Caboose is speaking to Donut.

Caboose: Muffin Man!

Donut: Caboose...! I have a message for Church! Wh... where is he?

Caboose: Hey, are you okay?

Donut: Just a little weak. Where's Church?

Caboose: Church? Oh, um. He's not here right now.

Donut: Where is he?

Caboose: Uh, he's um, he... that's kind of, uh, um... (quickly) it turns out he's really a computer program based on some guy who ran the Freelancer project and he went with Agent Washington, he's a Freelancer who destroyed all the AIs that were left.

Donut just stands speechless.

Caboose: Well, almost all. Slade still has his.

Donut: ... How long was I asleep?

Caboose: Not that long.

Donut: (almost out of breath) Listen... I don't know how long... I can stay awake. I need to give someone, on Blue Team, a message. ... I promised.

Caboose: I know people on the Blue Team. People on the inside. You can give it to me.

Donut: Tuck—

Caboose: Tuck! You want me to tuck? What do you want me to tuck? Wait, my mother told me to never tuck anything of anyone else's.

Donut: (faintly) Tucker...

Caboose: Tucker?

Donut: He needs... help. Find him... (slouches over) It's in... the sand... (collapses)

Caboose: It's in this and... this and what? (crouches) Donut, this and what!? What is "this?" What, what, your pocket? Is Tucker in your pocket? ... I remember him being a lot bigger. Tucker! Are you in there?!

South comes into the room.

South: Caboose, what the hell are you y-(sees Donut on the ground) Why is Donut on the floor?

Caboose: Oh, he was trying to tell me about Tucker and I'm trying get him out of his pocket?

South: What? That doesn't-

Sarge: (from outside) Hey! Anybody here? Blues? Where are ya?

Caboose: Tucker! Is that you? Why did you shrink? And why are you talking like a pirate?

Sarge: Hello?

Caboose: Hello! Yes, I hear you!

South: Caboose, stop. It's Sarge that's talking and yelling from outside.

Caboose: (rises) Out? ...ohhh, oh, I see, I thought—hah... man, sometimes I am so dumb. (crouches again) Hold on, Pocket Tucker! Someone outside wants to talk to me! (rises again) Donut, you can rest here as long as you want. You must be tired from all of "this and." And other stuff. (leaves)