Red vs Blue: Heavy 'META'L

Relocated (1)

Several months later after the debacle with Washington, the Reds and Blues have adjusted to new life in Valhalla. Grif and Simmons start walking back to base after being told to spy on South and Caboose.

Grif: I'm tellin' you, this is a whole new world for us. New bases, new armor; it's a fresh start.

Simmons: Then, why the fuck are we having the same conversations?

Grif: Just think, you know how people say, "If I knew then what I knew now?" Well, that person is you, and you already know it. And the "then" is right now.

Simmons: What?

Grif: Don't you regret anything from our last assignment? Like all your mistakes?

Simmons: I didn't make mistakes, you made mistakes.

Grif: Exactly. You set too high of a bar, and that made it harder for the rest of us.

Simmons: There is no "rest of us," there's just you, and you suck. The bar has nothing to do with it. If the bar was set any lower, you'd just hit your fucking head on it. Or accidentally eat it.

Grif: You need to loosen up. We got a good thing going here. I mean, this is an easy gig. We need to make the most of it. You should question authority every now-and-then.

Simmons: (stutters) I question authority.

Grif: Asking Sarge, "Can we have more work?" is not questioning authority.

Simmons: Well, Grif, technically that is a question.

Grif: Stop it.

Simmons: Besides, all you ever do is waste time.

Grif: Waste time? I make time. Every second Sarge spends arguing with me is every second I don't have to do something stupid like clean our guns or whatever it is he's ever making you do.

Simmons: You dumbass! We have to maintain our equipment. Otherwise...

A small explosion occurs under the warthog that Sarge is working on.

Sarge: (grunts) Son of a bitch!

Grif: See? That should keep him busy for at least...

Sarge: Simmons! Grif! Front and center!

Grif: Dammit.

Simmons: Nice plan, jackass. Clearly, it's working flawlessly.

Sarge: Hustle up, idiots!

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

At Blue Base, Caboose is working on his project with Kan. South peeks her head out to him.

South: Hey, Caboose, Kan, try not to make too much noise out here. I'm trying to sleep.

Caboose: Yes, Miss Angry Lady.

South: Caboose, my name is South. SOUTH.

Kan: May I inquire where my Leader is?

South just gives Kan a smirk and glances in her room. Kan clears his throat.

Kan: I, um, (clears throat) I will tell Red Team not to bother you. Caboose, continue your project.

Caboose: Okey-doke!

As Kan leaves, South then retracts her head back in the room, as she looks back to see Slade tied to her bed in his boxers and South is completely nude.