Red vs Blue: Heavy 'META'L

Chapter 17

Chairman: Dear Director. It is now clear, that your agency and its primary program "Project Freelancer" have abused the trust and freedoms that the Oversight Sub-committee has provided you. Your abuse of the Alpha A.I. will now become the subject of a criminal investigation. I am sorry, Director, but you have seen the end of my patience.

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Church looks back and forth at Wash and Slade silently as they still stood in the A.I. storage room.

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Back with the Reds, Simmons is typing at Terminal 84-C - Administrator Access Only.

Sarge: What're you finding out, Simmons?

Simmons: Looks like all the Blue records are here, I just don't have the access to delete them. I'm trying to work around that right now.

Grif: Ooh, try hacking the mainframe.

Simmons: This isn't a mainframe system.

Grif: How 'bout cracking it, would cracking it work?

Simmons: Grif shut up! Stop making suggestions when you have no idea what you're talking about.

Grif: Well, if you want help-

Simmons: I don't want help.

Grif: Maybe you should explain what's going on, and I could make an educated suggestion.

Simmons: Educated? Okay, fine. This computer is a dedicated interface with a highly developed security protocol. The information we are accessing is stored on a separate database with its own dedicated hardware. That system has its own distinct layer of security. From what I can tell, the two systems verify their identities by trading randomly generated two thousand fifty-six bit encryption keys. I'm tryin' to spoof one of those keys right now. So, Grif. I'm all ears. Any suggestions?

South wipes some sweat off her forehead as she and Kan walk back in.

South: Whew! I feel much better now. What're you jackasses up to?

Grif: Oh yeah, I've seen that before. You should try uploading a virus to the mainframe.

Simmons: Jesus.

Grif: I find viruses that feature a laughing skull tend to work the best.

Simmons: Shut the fuck up and let me work!

Kan and South look at each other.

Kan: Destroy some more walls?

South: (nods) Destroy some more walls.

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Back with Church, Wash, and Slade.

Church: You're fucking idiots.

Washington: That's not the reaction I expected.

Slade: 50/50 for me.

Church: You think I'm a computer program?

Washington: Why is that hard to believe?

Church: Uh, how 'bout 'cause I'm a person! That I have been my whole life? That I have memories from when I was a kid? And I don't remember being a calculator, dude.

Washington: A.I. are programs based on an actual human mind. You're bound to have some residual memories. They're just not yours.

Church: Oh, you two are so full of shit.