Red vs Blue: Heavy 'META'L

Bon Voyage

Donut, Simmons, Sarge, Grif, Lopez, Slade, South and Caboose are all standing outside the Red Base.

Sarge: Get these water cans cleaned up while we're gone. How much water do you need to drink, Donut?

Donut: I was in a desert! Don't judge me.

Grif: Maybe we should learn from that and bring some water ourselves.

Sarge: Nonsense. It'll just slow us down.

Grif: Slow us down more than dehydration? Or death... by dehydration?

Sarge: I don't know, smartass. Let's say we try! I'll kill you, and then I'll dry you out! Who wants Grif-Jerky?

Caboose: Ah, no thanks, I already had donuts for breakfast.

Grif: ...Wait, what?

Slade: I packed a whole duffel full of canteens.

Grif: .... Please tell me that one is for me.

Slade: Ask me again when I'm in a good mood.

Sarge: All right, let's get going. Everybody packed?

Caboose: Yep.

Grif: Where's your stuff?

Caboose: Oh, I only carry a washcloth and six toothbrushes.

Grif: I'm gonna assume that makes sense to you.

Caboose: Yeah, it does.

Grif: Yeah, I thought so. We'll just go ahead and leave that one alone.

South: It's Caboose. Is it really that shocking?

Grif: Fair.

Sarge: Grif! Why'd you pack so much?

Grif: Me? I only did one duffle.

Sarge: Well, what are all these cases?

Donut: Those are mine!

Sarge: Donut, you're going with us?

Donut: No, but I wasn't gonna let you guys have all the packing fun to yourselves! That's the best part about going on vacation. I mean, beside airport security's full-cavity search—

Grif: Time to go! (heads towards the jeep)

Sarge: Lopez, I want you to take good care of Simmons and Donut while we're gone.

Lopez: [Me?]

Sarge: Feed them every day.

Lopez: [Do they eat Unleaded? Or Super Unleaded?]

Sarge: Exactly. And don't forget to let them out in the yard every now and then.

Donut: I love yard-time—

Simmons: (insistent) Goodbye!

Sarge: If we don't make it back from the mission, bury me and Grif as far away as possible. I don't want to get any corpse cooties.

Grif: Why do you assume I'll be dead?

Slade: Grif, it's Sarge. Coincidence?

Grif: ...Never mind.

Tejano music begins playing as Sarge runs for the jeep. Kan hops on the back of Slade's Mongoose.

Sarge: All aboard! Let's get this show on the road!