Red vs Blue: Heavy 'META'L

Directions

Simmons stood inside Blue Base, looking at the mess Caboose had made from his 'project'. South just kicks a piece of scrap next to her foot.

Simmons: What the hell is all this stuff?

Donut: (enters) Oh, there you are! Did you blow up the base yet?

Simmons: Look at this mess, Donut. It's like he wrecked the place.

Donut: Oh yeah, that's Caboose's project.

South: Plus, he's got the mind of a kindergartner, Simmons. What do you want from him?

Simmons: This is what he's been working on?

Donut: He's trying to rebuild a body for that blue buddy of his. ...eh, looks like a piece is missing though.

Simmons: For the dead guy. Gimme a break. No wonder no one ever wins this war. We're all doing stuff like building lame robots.

Simmons turns around to see Lopez standing behind him.

Simmons: Oh, hey... Lopez. Uh, I didn't mean you, I meant other... robots...

Lopez takes off.

South: Nice, Simmons. Reallll nice.

Donut: Yeah, that was kind of racist.

Simmons: (chases after Lopez) That's not true! I have all kinds of mechanical friends!

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Back in the desert, an Elephant is parked near several temples outside of the mine field where the Reds and Caboose are.

Intercom Announcer: Just... just give me the microphone. (over the intercom) Do not, under any circumstances, move. You have entered an active mine field.

Caboose: Does thinking count as moving. Because if it does, I think I might've moved—up! I did again.

Grif: Shut up, Caboose!

Caboose: Well, I don't want to get exploded!

Slade: D, Rho, have you guys scanned the field?

Delta: (audio) The field spans around the entire area, Agent California.

Rho: (audio) Give us a few more minutes, we'll find a route out.

Sarge: How do we get outta here?

Intercom Announcer: We will guide you out.

Sarge: Great! Let us wait for you to come out here then!

Intercom Announcer: What? ...No, fuck that, listen! We're not coming out there, okay? Hang tight. We're gonna upload the schematics... we'll be right back. Don't. Move.

Sarge: Grif! What were you thinking driving us straight into a mine field?!

Grif: Me? You were in the passenger seat. That makes you the navigator!

Sarge: What are you talking about?

Grif: Everybody knows that. You're in charge of directions!

Sarge: No! The shotgun seat is reserved for the position of respect. And for people who carry shotguns. (holds up shotgun) See? (makes a clicking noise) Quid pro quo. Now Grif, here's the plan. You walk in front of us, very slowly.