Red vs Blue: Heavy 'META'L

Local Host

Caboose, South, and Donut end their transmission with Washington.

Caboose: Hello? Hello? Agent Washington! Are you there? Hello? Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Donut: Umm, I think he hung up.

South: Or they disconnected him.

Caboose: No, I don't think so... I don't think he'd do anything like that—hello! Hello.

Donut: Okay. Well, I think I'll just head back to my base. If you can think of anything to help me with that desert situation, just give me a ring.

Caboose: Okay.

Donut: You need any help with your Frankenstein-friend project?

Caboose: Oh, no, but uh, if you see any mechanical parts laying around that... look friendly, would you save them for us?

Donut: Well, sure! I can ask Sarge if he used his underground secret workshop. I heard the guys talking about it, it sounded cool.

South: You mean the hologram room?

Caboose: Oh right, they mentioned that earlier when they came by to pick you up.

Donut: He doesn't usually like letting the enemy use our equipment, but maybe I'll catch him in a good mood.

Caboose: Oh, you could try killing the orange one first! That would probably put him in a great mood!

Donut: Yeah... that's a good idea and all, but we have all these rules against killing people from our own team.

Caboose: Lame.

Donut: Tell me about it.

South: (snorts) The way Cal treats you guys, I'm surprised you're not dead already.

Donut: (confused) Who's Cal?

South: Your pal, Slade? Didn't he tell you he's a Freelancer like me?

Donut: Wait, what?! No wonder he has serious anger issues! Man. Our team sucks.

Donut hops in the grav-lift and gets thrown across the canyon.

Caboose: Ohhh. So that's how that works. (heads downstairs) Secret underground workshop, huh? Well, I have to try something. I don't seem to be very good about doing this on my own. (a random fire occurs to the right) All right, now how did that even start?! Miss South!

South runs in and sees the fire.

South: Ugh, what did I say, Caboose?! Where's the extinguisher?

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

At Red Base, Sarge is discussing with the squad how to get Donut back.

Sarge: Man, with Donut captured, I think we should abandon our previous plans of not attacking the Blues and institute a new plan, of attacking the Blues.

Simmons: Good.

Sarge: Winning the war is one thing, but having a man captured is quite another. I can't stand by knowing we've left a man behind! (turns to Grif) So I need a volunteer to run a suicide rescue mission. This won't be easy, and you're almost certain to die!

Grif: Why are you looking at me when you say that?

Slade: Work your brain, dumbarse.