Red vs Blue: Heavy 'META'L

Catching Up

In a dark room, the Counselor is debriefing Donut.

Counselor: Private Donut, we want to debrief you now that your tour at Blood Gulch is over.

Donut: Great! Wait... over?

Counselor: I'm just going to ask you some... standard questions to rate your experience, and I will be filling out a form based on your responses. Do you understand?

Donut: Yes, sir.

Counselor: All right, then let's begin. During your employment, you were assigned to the Red Team. Is that correct?

Donut: That's right! You can tell by my lightish-red armor.

Counselor: I'm a bit confused. By "lightish-red"... do you mean "pink"?

Donut: No. I mean "lightish-red".

There's a brief but awkward silence.

Counselor: Let's come back to this during the free-form period.

Donut: Okie-dokie!

Counselor: Now, as to your experience in Blood Gulch, would you say it was...

Words then list on the screen as the Counselor speaks.

Counselor: Satisfactory, somewhat satisfactory, or, unsatisfactory?

Donut: I would say... satisfactory.

Counselor: All right. Now I want you to look at this picture.

A picture in the corner of the screen enlarges.

Donut: Oh hey, I know where that is.

Counselor: Which of the following best describes this picture? Would you say it is, A: the new location where your team was assigned; B: the source of a mysterious energy reader; or, C—

Donut: That's just where we landed.

Counselor: ...Where you landed? Can you elaborate?

Donut: Yeah. We were diffusing a bomb by this guy "Omega," but then the bomb went off, and it was just this huge explosion that it totally threw us into the future, and we landed there in that place.

Counselor: I'm not sure I understand... The future?

Donut: Sarge said that since we were surrounded by ice when the bomb went off, and then it was all sand, the Ice Age must've ended, and that would've taken a really long time. So, it must've pushed us into the future.

Counselor: I... don't have a check box for that. So I'm just going to write down "other..."

Donut: Yeah, "other" works. I like other!

Counselor: Well, I suppose there's no reason to ask the rest of our questions. Thank you for a very... enlightening interview.

~Back to Present~

Donut: So then, after that, they transferred me to that new base. I guess we left before we were supposed to do what they wanted us to.

Caboose: That's a pretty crazy story, Donut.

Donut: But when I got there, all I found was the distress beacon from Tucker. It said to get Church. I think Tucker was captured. There was something there. Something scary.

South: And you couldn't make it out at all?

Donut: Nope.

Caboose: That sounds scary.