BNHA Gay Ships One-Shots! 《《BOOK 1》》

KiriBaku | I'm here...

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CW: cutting, suicide attempt, self-degradation
~Enjoy~

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I was wrong for thinking the dorms would go back to normal after Bakugo was rescued. Everyone else thinks so- everyone else is certain that's how things are. Sure, the days are the same... but the nights aren't.

God, I'm so stupid. I feel helpless and useless, listening to him at night.

At the night of his rescue, I remember him pulling me aside, while everyone else talked to the cops... he tugged me behind a building and hugged me so tightly... he cried like I've never seen him cry... like I've never seen anyone cry...
We kissed. That night.

But now it's like it never happened.
We don't speak of it, we don't... think of it. Or, he doesn't think of it, apparently... 
Not even our eyes show any care for that one moment. 

Sure, I'll be the bigger man and move past it... and brush it off as something that was too emotionally driven--

But how can I move on when I hear his suffering?

The nights are getting uglier... and uglier...
Last night, I got so worried I left my veranda's doors open. I was really considering the idea of jumping to his veranda in case anything happened.

And my stupid mentality of "He's strong, he can pull through" is fucking idiotic, even to myself.

He cries. Every night.
He whimpers. He calls out help... and no one comes. His sobs are so packed with fear... the crying, the whimpers, the sobbing- the indirect cries for help... it's driving me insane. I haven't gotten sleep... 

And no, I'm not annoyed or bothered... not in the least bit.
I'm fucking scared. For him. I'm scared of losing him.

Tonight was like all the past twelve-or-something nights has been. I embrace myself to listen to his suffering... feeling sure there was nothing I could do about it, for some sick reason...

But tonight, I genuinely got scared.
I felt fear like never before.

My skin got drowned with cold, sharp tingles. My hands grew so cold, they ached. I got cold-sweat so quickly, it concerned my conscious-side of my brain--
And my face grew so pale...

I heard something sharp.. metallic... dropping to his floor, and I heard one of the most regretful, fearful whimpers I'd ever heard.

I can't take this anymore.

I bolt out of my room and drag my trembling body towards his door. Of course it's locked...

"Bakugo-" I called out. My voice... it's high and shaky... "Bakugo can you open the door--? Pl-Please,- I... It's me, Kirishima-"

He just... cried. He didn't respond. My heart is at my throat...

I don't hesitate about going to the veranda.
I jumped without hesitation. I tripped, but my brain didn't even react to the danger of it. I could just hear him... crying, whimpering, biting back curses...

The doors are unlocked, at least. 
The room is dark... and a mess.

He's laying on the floor, curled up and facing away from me. 
And... the sight of a bloodied knife laying on the floor, literally a few feet away from him makes me nauseous with fear.