Chess Pieces #5: Loki Von Amstel

Chapter 47

I quickly wiped the tears off my cheeks. I put my hand on Loki's chest to push him away from me but he wouldn't budge. He just kept on staring at me, trying to read my emotions that I wanted to conceal.

But fuck... The last brick of my wall was slowly crumbling into pieces. No matter how much I hold onto it, I knew that it would also break soon.

Loki broke down my wall that I built around me. He was the only one who got this far. 'Cause he was the only one that affected me this much.

I don't know when it has started. Maybe that night when my mind was so chaotic and he was there? Maybe the walls were started to break even back then as I let a tear fell from my eye even when he's around.

Maybe because he was always there, when I really needed to calm the chaos inside my head. He was there, trying to understand me no matter how many times I pushed him away.

And now... I didn't know what would happen if I let go of this brick... The last brick of my wall.

"Go away, Loki." I said while gritting my teeth. Trying to make myself not to be affected by his words and actions.

"I won't..." he insisted. "I will never leave you, Eresh. I'll always be here for you... Forever, right?"

"Stop..." I said with a shaky voice. His words were his weapon against the wall that I built around me. And he's slowly getting there.

Just one more push...

"Don't be afraid." he said softly as he try to ease my fear. "I am here. I heard your cry of help, Eresh. So I'm here for you."

I shook my head, still trying to push him away.

"I don't need you, Loki. And just stop! You're only doing this to know my weakness!"

"No." he said and I was surprised when he cupped my face and stared deeply at me. "Nakikita kong nahihirapan ka. So I wanted o help you. If you can't take it anymore, then pass your burden to me. I will help you carry them. Hell, I would even carry it alone."

He caressed my cheeks softly using his thumb. I took a deep breath 'cause I just felt those the emotions wanted to took over me again. His sea-green eyes were showing so many things to me.

He's giving me assurance with his soft touch. His eyes were telling me that he won't leave me. That whatever I'm going to say, he will listen to all of it.

"Just don't shut me out." he said. "Include me in your life, my Queen."

My voice sounds so broken when I speak again.

"I'm not weak, Loki."

"I know..." he said. "I never saw you as someone who's weak. I never looked down on you."

I stared at him. Fear was visible in my eyes now. I let him see how much scared I am because of what he's doing. I let him see that I am not use to this.

And it seems like he saw it all. He kissed my forehead again before he stared at me.

"I want to understand you, Eresh... Open up to me. I'm here for you."

I gritted my teeth and anger consumed me when he finally broke down the last brick that I'm holding to so easily. He easily broke down the wall. He opened that closed book with so many shred pieces inside and stared to read it. He just did it so easily that I felt so mad.

"Fuck you!" I spat at him and tried to push him. Pero malakas talaga sya and I felt frustrated even more.

I am not weak! I'm not weak! I'm strong!