NO GOOD DEED || S. REID

2.9

KATHARINE WATCHED THROUGH THE WINDOW AS THE JET TOOK OFF INTO THE SKY. She leaned back into the seat, playing with the ends of her hair and reveling in the fact that her second case employed with the BAU had been a success. In both cases, the unsubs had been apprehended and she was easily able to put the nightmares behind her.

But the memories would continue to plague the minds of the families of the victims. And for that, she felt a sort of guilt that only people that got to walk away could feel. Survivor's guilt, her therapist had told her. That paired with her PTSD and constant anxiety could really wreck her life if she let it.

She couldn't understand how one person could just one day decide to take the life of another person. In her line of work, she had only killed when absolutely necessary and no matter how much she tried to play the badass, she still broke down at the end of the day.

She pulled out her journal and opened up to the next empty page, putting her pen down on the paper but leaving nothing there but a deep indentation. She tried to think of something to write about this past case but now that she was on the plane, everything was mushing together instead of flowing out in a linear structure.

It was like her brain had turned into a cloud of nothing, dissipating into the void like it was nothing. She figured that it was the onset sleep deprivation that had been attempting to claim her from the moment she stepped foot onto the plane.

She tapped the tip of the pen against the blank sheet a few times before giving up, laying her pen down between the pages, and closing the book. She wrapped the elastic band back around its pages and set it aside, letting out a sigh of discontent.

Derek seemed to notice her glum state because he took off his headset and rested his music player on the table. He nudged her foot slightly under the table between them.

"What's going on, Kit Kat?"

Katharine shrugged. There was nothing really wrong, she just... she sighed again.

"A friend of mine," she started, playing with the little fabric bookmark that protruded slightly from the end of her journal. "He was a bad person, but I trusted him and..."

"He betrayed you," Derek guessed.

The plane was quiet besides the two of them. Emily, who had sat down next to Derek, was asleep and so was Spencer, who had filled the seat next to Katharine.

Katharine nodded. She messed with her hair a bit before taking her hairband and tying it back.

"I shot him," she said softly. "He manipulated me and I shot him and when I used my ability on him... All I could see was just fear in his eyes."

"You can't blame yourself for that," Derek said, shaking his head. "You said it yourself, he was a bad person."

"Officer Liddy probably died feeling so scared and so betrayed and..." she trailed off, looking out of the plane's window once more. They were high above the clouds now, she could barely see the ground as they flew by. "I still feel really guilty... about using my abilities on you and I feel like I barely did my job on this case and--"

"Katharine Mae," Derek cut her off, "I don't care that you used your ability on me. Was I scared? I'm not going to lie to you, of course, I was, but that wasn't because of you. I was scared because my best friend, my little brother, and my baby cousin were in a potentially life-threatening situation. And your job, Baby Girl? Your job was to help catch the unsub to the best of your ability and you did just that. No one blames you for being out of the field."

Katharine was silent for a bit, playing with her fingers and biting down on her lip. Her shoulder still throbbed but the pain had subsided, leaving behind some light bruising but that was expected. Her headaches had completely gone by that time they had boarded the place and with some help of a certain Dr. Reid, she was also extremely hydrated.