I Can't Take It Anymore

5. Not A Punk

The Following Day:

Last night had affected mom really bad, since this morning she didn't even check to make sure I was up. Which I wasn't, so now I'm rushing around my room trying to get my life together. My classes start at eight, so I always try to leave the house around "7:30" . However right now it's "7:45" . I haven't even picked out an outfit, nor have I did my morning routine. Today's outfit is a simple jean jacket with matching pants, a Nike shirt, and a pair of all white air force 1's. I decided to leave my hair curly and checked myself in the mirror. I look just like any other teen, but not too basic. I'm looking just enough to say I tried. Grabbing my things, I left the house and made my way to school.

As I walk into school there is already a crowd near the front door. Everyone is trying to get there last "goodbye's" to their so called boyfriends or to their bestie's. I have more important things to do like going to my locker to get ready for gym class. The gym was bigger than the auditorium at my old school, it was a room filled with bleachers on both sides with a basketball hoop in the center of the room.

"Alright, everybody get dressed and meet back here in ten," said my gym teacher named Mr. Tucker.

As I'm walking into the locker room, I feel my mood changing because of the same group of girls from my other class. I just know that I'm going to have a problem with her, I can just feel it. This is the type of girl that makes people turn their heads. She has the type of presence that remains even after she would leave the room. Currently being in this room and looking at how she made people squirm, I can tell that she's the popular girl. Unfortunately, I don't have time for her or people that tried to be like her.

Our class was divided into groups as away to introduce ourselves to the group. Staying in my spot, I can see this short-light skinned girl with a silk ponytail making her way to me. Just my luck!

"I don't think we've officially met. My name is Bianca. I think it's funny how we keep meeting," she made a slow chuckle.

Just because I'm the new girl and because of everything that has happened to me in the past meant that I'm not about to be anyone's punk. This girl is beginning to get on my nerves.

"Yeah sure," I shrugged, while trying to walk away from her direction before I was blocked.

"Why you running for? Didn't your mom tell you that it's rude to not use your manners?" she asked, while gripping onto my shoulders. Slowly I looked down at my shoulder, while having another flashback. Closing my eyes, I breathed in and out before reopening my eyes.

"First, you got two point five seconds to take your hands up off me. Secondly, you don't know me and yes my mom did teach me manners. However, she also taught me to never let someone talk to you any kind of way. So, now if you'll excuse me," I said pushing her off me. In the corner of my eye, I could see her rolling her eyes before grabbing her followers walking into the locker room.

....

I feel a sweaty mess. After Bianca the wanna be mean girl thought that she could check somebody, I decided to step out my comfort zone and speak to the people in my group. Soon after we all played a game of kickball. While walking into the locker room, I felt someone push me. Before I could process what I was doing, I pushed them back feeling another flashback coming.

Flashback:

"Please I'm Sorry! I won't do it again!" I yelled , while feeling the metal continuously hit my skin. I screeched in pain.

"Shut up! I'm doing this for your own good," he whispered in my ear and continued his assault. I looked away up at the ceiling wishing that I could be anywhere else, maybe possibly feeling safe.

*Flashback Ends

"Ouuu...so the new girl isn't a punk," laughed one of Bianca's friends. I scrunched my nose feeling more irritated. I can feel myself getting ticked off by the second.

"Is there a problem?" I asked plainly. I began to look all the girls up and down feeling more annoyed.

"The problem is I didn't appreciate your little comment, so yeah we do. You kind of got me messed up." Bianca then started to walk up to me as if she was about to hit me.

Again I'm not a punk anymore, so I know for a fact that she's not about to get in my face. While not backing away I stood face to face with this girl.

"What's really your problem? You big mad or little mad that I told you the truth? You expect me to be all smiles when you came up to me wrong. Now you wanna be in your feels because I spoke the truth. Maybe your mama should've taught you to not dish it out if you couldn't handle it." I backed away just enough to grab my things before eyeing Bianca one last time before shaking my head in disbelief. She really has me messed up, but not today lord, not to today.

Later that day:

I'm finally back at home from school, but the house is too quiet. Since, I haven't ate all day I went straight to the kitchen to go the fridge. Seeing a piece of folded paper attached the door with mom's handwriting, I read the paper.

If you need anything you're going to have to wait. I got called into work. I should be home for dinner. I left you some snacks in the fridge if you get hungry. See you soon!"

After all these years I'm not sure why she leaves these notes anymore. It's like a reoccurring thing. While looking at the empty house, I sighed. How can you physically have it all? The nice house, not all designer but good enough outfits, and every now and then a new pair of sneakers. How can you have it all but still not feel happy? Looking in the fridge I decide on the salad and a bottle of water. Then I headed up to my room.

Living in this house makes you tired. Honestly living my life will makes you tired. Nothing is ever good enough for anyone. As a kid I learned the hard way that you could never depend on anyone other than yourself. When I was a little girl, I would always imagine that my life would be a fairytale just like the books, but I was so wrong. My thoughts were disturbed when I heard two car doors slam. Looking out the window I see a car that I don't recognize. My mind was now panicking, since I don't know who's coming into the house. Quickly, locking my door and hiding in my closet and listened. From the sounds they were making nothing sound alerting. Except for the sound of laughter.

I know you're probably thinking "I thought you said you're not a punk?" Well only on special occasions like now. Their faint steps made its way into my parents room. The sound of shuffling and I voice that I've heard so many times surfaced throughout the walls. My donor's voice was all too familiar but the woman's wasn't. I really want to walk up in that room and tell them both about themselves, but I decided not to. He seems to be happy and enjoying their conservation. After waiting for them to go back downstairs, I opened my door to see luggage beside my parent's door. I don't care anymore, so I'm going to go downstairs.

I walked downstairs to see them not paying any attention to my presence. I sat at the kitchen table, while interlocking my fingers. As they walked in my direction, I'm now noticing donor and the woman that I don't know hands are intertwined with each others. Suddenly everything started to click. This has to be the woman from last night at the diner. Even though I can only recognize her features from the side. She doesn't stand straight and her hair is all the way down past her back. If you ask me, sounds like something the donor would be interested in. I'm feeling brave today so I began to stare at the two. I feel so bad for mom because she has no clue.

"Hello, Father." I smirked.