I Can't Take It Anymore

27. The "what if's"

*Kailyn's POV:

I can't stand him he literally adds more irritation into my life. How is he going to leave me alone with a stranger? Ever heard of stranger danger? He should feel lucky I'm stuck in this bed and can't get up. Not to mention the guy isn't even on time. This is what you call unprofessional. I guess I talked him up because guess who's in the room? Standing directly in front of my bed was a guy old enough to be in college. Not to judge but he kind of looks in the same position as me. Miserable. The man has yet to introduce instead he hops across the room. Not literally but more like he has to limp to support his stance. As he took a seat beside me, he eyed me clearly. See that right there is already rubbing me off the wrong way.

"My name is Dr. Bryant, I'll be your observer for the next few days. I have a job, so try not to be so difficult. I'll be respectful as long as you do the same. Got it?" he made a serious face.

I twisted my lip up looking back at him as if he lost his mind, "I'm kidding. Dang, why you so serious? My name is Dr. Bryant, but everyone calls me Daniel."

Already irked that he seems to think something was funny, I decide to be cordial. "My name is Kailyn, but you probably already knew that. Majority of the people that know me call me Kai though.

He nodded his head signaling that he was listening, "Well I'm just hear to ask questions and you answer the best you can."

My attention was barely on anything going on because I'm still stuck on why this man is here.

"Can you tell me what you remember from the day of the incident? Maybe start with the setting, the smell of the room, if that helps, or basically anything that makes you comfortable." He took out a notebook and pen preparing for me to talk.

I only stared at him at a lost. I do remember that day, but it's a reason why people call the past, the past. Meaning that it's meant to stay there. "Let's talk about something else," I mumbled, trying to avoid contact with him.

He sat up in the seat sighing, "We could, but that's not going to help you."

"I mean I guess you could say I felt empty. I woke up in a pool of sweat. That's mostly it..." Of course there's more but what's the point?

"You're doing great so far Kailyn. Remember I'm here for you, it's my job. In order for this to work you need to open up."

"Not to be rude you don't know me and I don't know you, Dr. Bryant and-"

"I told you to call me Daniel."

Here goes another person being difficult in my life. A name is a name. He should be glad I remembered at least one of them. "Wrong, you said everyone calls you that and I'm not everyone."

"Mhmm, I see. Maybe we should try a trust exercise. As a way for you to feel more comfortable. First, you tell me one word that describes your life, what defines you, and then I'll do the same."

I had to think about something that sums up everything about me. I think that's the problem with me. There's so much going on to the point that I don't understand it myself. The only thing I know oh so well is my pain.

"The only trait that comes to mind is indestructible. No matter what goes on nothing seems to destroy me. Even if I might want it to..."

"Care to elaborate?"

I look down at my lap feeling nauseous. There was nothing to elaborate because it was my truth. When people often tried to break me they almost succeeded, but yet here I am still standing.

"Well I guess it's my turn. My trait is what in life we call a "contradictory". My job is to observe patients and listen to their stories as if I don't have one of my own. For the longest I asked myself how could I help save someone else's life when I was just like y' all in a hospital telling my experiences. How could a boy who tried to kill himself over 20 times become a therapist. Still doesn't make sense but what in life does?" he said sadly.

My eyes are about to pop out my sockets. His words make me feel bad for him because his word that describes him makes so much sense to me.

"It seems to be that our time is up. I'll be back next week. Nice meeting you," he stumbled out the room.

My mind is still on the concept of my "babysitter" once being in the same predicament as me. Like how does that work and how is he still living. Life has a crazy way of going on. Him attempting suicide over twenty times that had to be tough for him. I can barely keep up with what's happened to me but him he probably never stopped.

...

While waiting for Kailyn's session to finish up Dr. McCall did his normal rounds until he was called up front. Walking to the receptionist desk he could see the same man that was in Mrs. Monroe room.

Finally being directly in front of the receptionist desk and the detective's face he looked at the two in confusion before reaching his hand out, "Hey um... my name is Detective Anderson. I'm not sure if you remember me from the day that I was in Mrs. Monroe room. When I left out, I saw you standing by the door."

The two stared at each other before shaking hands, "Yeah sure. What do you need with me?" Marcus asked trying to get to the point.

The detective smirked at the doctor's bluntness. "I'm here strictly on business. Basically here to discuss one of your patients, Kailyn Monroe to be specific."

A wave of nervousness rushed onto Marcus. This was what he didn't want to happen, but he had to play along. "Unfortunately I'm not allowed to discuss any of my patient's information unless we believe they're showing signs of harm to themselves or someone else. All our records remain confidential. Sorry, but I can't help you."

"Self harm was already done. Besides that whole protocol doesn't pertain when law enforcement is granted access to withdrawal information that involves evidence within a case."

Marcus eyes bucked. He still didn't understand what that had to do with him. "A case? I wasn't aware of that."

Detective Anderson chuckled, "Well the same way your job records are confidential so are ours. However, that's not what I came here to talk about. I need for you to stop by my office to answer a few questions."

"Again I'm sorry but I'm a doctor. I'm on the clock literally 24/7. I always have something to do including now like getting back to my patients."

The sound of the receptionist's typing loudly echoed throughout the two's conversation. However, it still didn't stop the detective's laugh gaining Marcus's attention.

"I see you have an answer for everything. The Atlanta Bureau and I are fully aware of your schedule. You can stop by at 9:00 p.m. sharp." The detective slowly walked up closer to Dr. McCall close to the point the two's shoulders touched. "I know that today you get off at 8:30 and it only takes fifteen minutes to get down to the station from here. Which leaves you enough time for traffic because I mean we both know ATL traffic never dies down. Then that'll still give you about another five minutes to get out your car and get yourself prepared and calmed down and walk up the stairs and what will you know it should be 9:00 on the dot."

Marcus narrowed his eyes in discomfort. "Seems like you already thought this all through."

Not giving a direct response the detective eyed Dr. McCall up and down before heading to the exit door mumbling, "You have no idea."

After being left alone in the middle of the hospitals floor, Dr. McCall tried to keep his cool. For some reason he felt threatened by the detective's words. All those years had past but here he was still stuck on the "what if's". That's why he left Virginia and that's why he was about to leave Atlanta. He just had to tell one person first.