I Can't Take It Anymore

12. Why me

The Following Week:

Last weeks adventures has drained me and I'm not even exaggerating. After mom had picked me up that day it just has been the same around here. I wake up, go to school, try to ignore Bianca with her death stares, and tackle on my work load at the diner. I love that job. I feel it's the best thing that could of ever happened to me. Not to mention my first check should be in the mail. Your girl about to get paid.

Today, I swapped shifts with Jessica since she had to take care of her two year old son. I still can't believe she's only nineteen and dealing with so much. If anything it just proves to me that I'm not the one only one that's dealing with something.

So far while being here in Atlanta, I haven't become close with anyone. I don't trust easily especially when it comes to men. I only talk to Jessica at work to pass time, but I can tell that she's not a bad person. She just made some bad decisions. I definitely don't judge her. Why should I and besides her is son is adorable.

Mom stepped out the apartment after dropping me off leaving me to watch some Netflix show. I almost forgot about checking the mail to get my check. I went to grab my Nike slides and added a hoodie to go along with my sweatpants. After locking the apartment up, I went to the complex's mailroom.

The room is packed to capacity with multiple people in the room. Digging through our mail slot I grabbed the stack of papers consisting of junk mail and other envelopes. Once I saw the envelope with Mr. Andy scrawny handwriting on it, I hurried to open it. Let's see how much your girl made! Even though I've only worked there for a week Mr. Andy still wanted me to get paid something. I earned $50 in tips and $150 from Mr. Andy.

I did it! I made my own. As if the night couldn't get any better, I checked through the rest of the mail until my eyes were met with donor's name. How? I stayed still in shock until my ringtone stopped my thoughts.

"Hello?" I asked while not even checking the caller I.D.

"Where are you and why aren't you in the apartment?" asked mom with accusation all in her voice.

Sighing I folded the envelope that came from donor and tucked it into my pocket. I can't have mom seeing this because it'll only make things worse.

"I'll be there in a sec. I came to get the mail."

"Well hurry dinner's done." she hung up.

I know you're probably thinking, 'shouldn't you read the letter?' Nope. If we don't open it then we're not liable for what's next. Besides mom is already stressed out as it is.

Walking into the apartment the scent of pasta filled the room. Mom was already sitting at the table with her plate already made. I think she's waiting for me so I hurried to wash my hands and made my way to her.

"How was school and work?" asked mom as she filled her mouth with warm pasta and bread.

I soon followed her after her waiting for my food to digest before responding, "The same. Pretty much like any other day. How about you?"

"That's good to hear. As far as me and my day I wish I could say the same. My work load is only increasing but I got it."

I stopped chewing my food to look up at mom. She does look exhausted from all the shifts she's been picking me up. But unfortunately I'm tired too. I know it's nothing compared to her but between school work and working everyday is starting to catch up to me. Now that donor isn't in our life we have to keep pushing because who else is going to do it?

...

Next Morning @6:00 a.m.

My alarm jumped me out of my sleep making me fall off the couch making a soft thud on the floor. I'm still not use to sleeping on a couch every night. I think it's ironic how mom said we can take turns on the couch and I've been the only one on the couch ever since then.

After taking my time getting up from the floor and wiping the crust out of my eyes. I headed straight to the bathroom for my morning routine. However since last week my morning routine now takes longer. After showering and lotioning up I styled my hair into a high bun. I haven't felt like putting too much effort into my appearance because there's no point. I took the time out to take a look in the mirror to see that nothing has changed.

The altercation with Bianca is still noticable. I've been covering up the bruises and scratches everyday and night. Surprisingly no one has yet to notice. Getting ready to to apply the finishing touches on my face a loud bang came from the outside of the door.

Hurrying to make sure nothing showed I yelled,"Give me a sec! I'm almost done."

"Do you think a care? I'm already late to work," mom sighed.

I was barely listening to her since I was still trying to get ready. Hearing the door jigle I knew mom was about to kill me.

"I swear Kai, if you don't open this *amn door I will do it for you. 5...4..3-"

"All done." I smiled heading to the closet to find an outfit.

In the corner of my eye I could see mom rolling her eyes. Today's outfit is going to be basic. It's still hot out, so biker shorts and an oversized graphic tee with retro black and grey Jordans to match will do.

"I'm about head out so hurry up!" yelled mom.

I rushed to get ready and met mom out front. Getting in the car both mom and me yawned. This is now the normal waking up early and going to sleep late. This all has no choice to work out because we can't afford for donor to find us. We just can't.

Later in the day:

I'm back at home from a long day of school and work. Mom is in the back taking a nap before starting dinner so I'm up doing homework. My teacher Ms. Rochelle has been giving out more work than usual. After work I come home and finish the assignments I haven't finished.

Normally I try to finish all my work at school or at work but the least couple days it's been harder since teachers are doubling up on work. But I'm just going to have to stay up and finish writing this paper and my other math assignments. I probably won't go to sleep until after 1:00, but I made a promise to mom and I need to keep it.

Hearing the floor squeak I looked up mom starting dinner. Tonight is burger night. Mom continued to work on dinner, while I put my focus back on my paper until mom's loud phone started ringing.

"H-hello?" mom's voice was barely a whisper and it's making me nervous. Only one person makes her like this.

"Carter-what?" Mom looked like she was about to cry at any second.

"What letter?"

Crap! I forgot to give her the letter from yesterday, but I had my reasons for not doing it.

"How did you find us? Carter... hello?"

Mom hung the phone up turning her direction back to me. She stared at me with her glossy eyes and stared at me with so much emotion.

"What's going on?" I said shakily. Her constant silence was just making me more nervous.

"There's no easy way to say this but that was your father. He found us. He said he sent a letter for custody," she sighed.

She looked like she was about to faint. Right now I'm still trying to grasp what she's saying it kind of went in one ear and out the other. I know she can't be saying what I think she is. My laugh filled the room. One of those laughs that annoy you because you know that it's fake.

"You're joking, right?" I stopped laughing.

Mom shook her head, "He's serious, he wants custody of you."

With that my head turned around and I couldn't think straight. I have that feeling where I'm not in control of myself or anything. My eyes were starting to close and my last thought was why me?