I Can't Take It Anymore

14. When things get tough

Following Day:

It's already 6:30 but I'm refusing to wake up. I'm physically and emotionally exhausted. Last night I couldn't for the life of me close my eyes. Every time I tried the constant image of donor grabbing me replayed. I'm beyond shocked and scared about the future because I can't live with him. I know mom said that she would try but what use would that be if we both feared him. He always wins.

Looking at my phone I noticed how I hit the snooze button at least five times. I should probably get up I don't have time for Ms. Rochelle and her counting a tardy. As I made my way to the bathroom I could see mom packing her bags and not wearing her normal office attire.

"Let me guess you're leaving?" I said already knowing the answer. It never fails that she always does this to me. She always ups and leaves when things get hard.

"Kai, don't be like that. I'm going back to Virginia for a bit to clear my head and figure out somethings," she said as she picked up her luggage heading to the living room.

"For how long?"

"Not too long. Maybe for a week. But I really need you to go and get ready so we can leave. I'm going to head to the airport after I drop you off. I already made some groceries, so there's plenty to eat. Here's some money while I'm gone."

She handed me at least $200. I took the money and just stared back at her. She had all the answers but not everything is so simple.

"Be ready in fifteen. I'm going downstairs to load the car up."

I watched her leave and sighed heavy. I wish I could leave with her, but no she just had to be selfish and leave me to handle everything by myself. I went to the bathroom to do my normal. The usual makeup, shower, and my other hygiene. Today's outfit is going to reflect my mood which is basically all over the place.

I grabbed some distraught cut jeans, a baggie t-shirt which I'm about to tie up and some bright pink fuzzy slides. I'm leaving my hair out because I don't have time for it. After getting my outfit situated, I grab some checkered vans and put them in my bag for later. Can't have my feet out at work considered a safety hazard. Speaking of work how am I suppose to be getting home if mom doesn't want me to walk late at night? I swear she has great timing.

...

OTW to school:

The ride has been quiet except for mom playing some oldies on the radio. I hum along to the words trying to ignore everything that has or soon to happen. Pulling up to Atlanta High I grabbed my bag and prepared to get out until mom grabbed my hand.

"I almost forgot, since I'm not going to be here I asked one of my co-workers to help look after you. Her name is Chloe. She'll pick you up from work for me."

I only nodded wondering why I've never heard about this Chloe, but I don't have time for twenty questions.

"Alright, I'll see you soon. I'll call you later," she said, leaving me at the curb. What a way to start the morning.

This morning I have gym class with Mr. Tucker, so of course I'll be stuck in a class with Bianca and her minions.

"Alright, today no dressing out-" There was a bunch of cheering erupting from the class. "Shut up will you. Anyway I have to handle something so I'm partnering everyone with a partner for today's activity let me get Jamal and Rachel. Bianca and Kailyn..."

I automatically began to have a mini breakdown. My morning has already been the unexpected and now this. As the teacher continued to pair other students, partners that were already called began the exercise except for Bianca and me.

"Who wears slides to gym?" Bianca snickered.

Did she not hear the teacher 'today no dressing out'? Besides my shoes are extra comfy.

"Says the girl who's wearing the whole makeup isle," I said back.

How can one person just be so extra and get underneath your skin? Well that's Bianca for you. I know she isn't coming for my outfit when she looks like somebodies older aunt. That's the main reason I'm not here of makeup. I feel like some people actually look really pretty while others add way to much and it makes them look like... well Bianca.

We both just stared back at each other, I decide to actually do the exercise. Mainly because this is gym. I grab the ball intending to make it go through the hoop. As my shot makes it, I see in the corner of my eye Bianca drippling another ball until she throws the ball. Instead of the ball connecting with the hoop it connects to my shoulder blade. She had to do that on purpose. There's no way that ball was headed for the hoop.

"I know you didn't just hit me with a ball!" I yelled making my way to Bianca ready to snap her in half.

"And if I did? What you going to do about it?" she smiled while flipping her long ponytail.

But little did she know I was about to cut that ponytail off if she keeps playing with me. Let me just count to ten. I'm not about to be wasting my time on someone who's not worth it. I'm just going to walk away.

"I knew you weren't going to do anything!" she yelled from a distance as I continue to walk away. She's just trying to get a reaction out of me.

"Come back here little tough girl. You was talking all that stuff the other day. So where is she at with all that energy. Don't go hush now."

She can't be talking to me, right now. I'm never quiet. I like to try to at least keep my cool because if anything I'm trying to save her and myself from another episode but she's pushing it.

"I would've thought your father would've taught you how to not be such a softy. I guess he only showed you how to be a *itch," she laughed.

"*itch? I'll show you one but in the mean time if I were you I would stop speaking on things you know nothing about."

My brain is cloudy from the mention of donor. It's one thing to bring up my mom but not donor. Not to mention she called me out of my name. Donor has nothing to do with my life in or outside of school and that's how I like to keep it.

"What's wrong Kailyn? Did I struck a nerve?" she continued to laugh.

I really see nothing funny she was just a prick. She made her way to me standing directly in front of me.

"You see I don't take well to people's threats. The little stunt at the diner was nothing compared to what I have in stored for you. This is only the beginning," she said pushing me making me fall to the ground.

The flashbacks are beginning instantly. I ball myself into a crouch position and rock myself back and forth. I can barely notice the stares coming from everyone. The only thing I'm focusing on is me getting the images out of my mind. After a couple of mintues I finally am calm. My thoughts are clear except for the attention of several people huddling up around me including Mr. Tucker. I didn't even realize I'm crying.

"Ms. Monroe are you good?" asked my teacher.

Ignoring him and everyone else I grab my things and left the gym. I have to get a way from these people. I can't show anymore weakness. I'm strong and built for a life like this. My name is Kailyn Monroe and I'm nobodies personal punching bag.