Save me from myself

Eyes On Her

Added a song 

###################################################################

"You wanna talk about it?" Sandra asked worried when Sam woke up from a nap. Sam took a deep breath and said bitter "There's nothing to talk about. He doesn't believe it's his."

"Maybe when he gets out..." Sandra thought but Sam shook her head and said through tears "You should've seen him.."

"I'm sorry." her mom said and sighed "Either way, the child needs a father." she said after a pause "You're beautiful woman, there are plenty of men.." but Sam cut her off again "No, mom! I don't want anybody else!" She cried "I really like him, although he's such an asshole!"

"You can't be a single mother..." her mother whined. Sam wiped off her tears and sucked in air

"I can and I will. I'll be the best damn mom and dad this kid will ever have." she said confident, holding her tiny belly.

Next months she focused on working and saving money. She got all the daytime cleaning and early evening shifts at the bar to herself, sometimes covering night shifts at the bar if needed. She also walked dogs and worked at the cafe near her home.
On her free time she visited her parents. Hearing all the shit that's wrong in her life cause her dad was still disappointed and pissed that she went to visit Ronnie and that his wife hadn't cared about his opinion.

"She had to do it, Steven!" Sandra said sad. Sam stared into the emptiness, ignoring her parents. She often remembered Ronnies wide grin on his beautiful lips to escape the reality.

She didn't visit him anymore. She was hurt and didn't want to be hurt more that she already was. But she called to the prison office and asked about his well-being.

She was working at the bar one day when she noticed an older man sitting in the corner.

He had been there before but she hadn't interacted with him. There was something familiar about him. He had tattooed forearms and a friendly stare in his eyes.

"Stacy." she said to her co-worker "Do you know this guy?" She looked at the guy and asked "One beer a week, guy? Nope."  and added "He tips good tho." Sam sighed, holding her hand on her belly. She decided to go and ask if he wants a refill. She smiled walking to him "Hey. Do you need a refill?" she pointed on his beer glass.

"No thanks." he said smiling friendly "I should be going anyways."

"You seem so familiar." she said thoughtfully now that she'd heard his voice.

"I've been here few times." he said smiling.

"No." she said looking at him "That's not it."

He sighed and smirked "Well, I came to check on my grandchild."  and hit his stare on her belly.
That's when she realized who he was and she breathe out "You're Ronnie's dad..."
"Russell." he confirmed. She was serious, pale, her hand searching for support from the booth. He stood up and came closer to her, taking her hand "Take it easy, sweetheart. Sit." She sat opposite to him, tears flowing "How did you..?" she was out of words.

"Ronnie told me." he said sitting down.
"H-He told you?" she asked and burst to cry, covering her mouth. She would have never imagined this to happen.

"It's okay sweetheart." he said taking her hand.

"No it's not!" she whined "He broke my heart!"

"You're right but I'm here, aren't I?" he asked and she replied "And you believe me?"

"To a girl who took care of him at his lowest?" he asked smiling and added "Yes." but she shook her head "I'm not sure about anything anymore." wiping away tears. She was confused and wanted to stand up and leave but he held his hand firmer "Don't go." She looked at him for a moment then sat down slowly.

"Tell me, how are you?" he asked concerned and looked at her body "How's the baby?" She smiled to him "I'm doing okay." she nodded and took out a sono picture, placing it on the table "She's doing good. Healthy."

"A girl?" he asked his voice shivering. She nodded and pointed on the picture "Here's her fist and leg."

"Everything's going to be okay, sweetheart." he said sweet, making her cry again.

"No need to cry, Sam." he said.

"I know, it's just we didn't had much time to get to know each other before he was taken from me. And I miss him so much, although I don't know him at all. I didn't know he was in such deep shit." She burst to cry again. She had been pushing all Ronnie related to the darkest corners of her heart and keeping it shut. Now it seemed that talking to Russell, made it all come out.
"I'm so sorry. Don't cry sweetheart." Russell said sad.
"I know...I hate my emotions!" she tried to dry her eyes and added "I feel so lonely."

"I'm here for you." he said. She nodded. Hearing him say that was the most comforting thing she had heard in months. Even though it's not gonna fix things, something in his voice was relaxing her.
After some time she calmed down and glanced towards the bar "I should go back to work."

"Take care. Okay?" he said and asked for a hug, widening his hands. She hesitated for a moment but then replied to his request. It felt safe.

Few days later he came back there and showed some pictures of Ronnie. They talked about lots of things, including Ronnie's incapability to have proper relationships. She learned that he had zero respect for women, making her cry again, regretting that she got evolved with him in the first place, crying "I'm so stupid!" but added chuckling through tears "I couldn't help it tho."

"I think he's the one in trouble, sweetheart." he said "You're such a gem."

Time flew by. Sam and Russell stayed in touch. He often appeared to her work with a take-away lunch to take her to the park on her lunch break.
Sam's father introduced her his friends son Robert, who "randomly" came by. They became friends but nothing more, at least from her side. He sure tried, politely. But she politely changed the subject.

She also renovated her tiny apartment whenever she had the time and energy. Robert offered his help and after minutes of persuading, she agreed.

She had trouble with the media because someone had tipped them off that the ex-singer of Escape The Fate had knocked up some random girl. Headlines like "Is the baby his?", "Who's the father?", "Ronnie Radke is going to be a dad." Some reporters following her, Russell once shooed them away. She also read the first interview he gave in prison, reading about him being successful on a rehab programme, writing songs and wanting to form a band, confirming the baby news, telling "I'm gonna be there for my daughter. She never has to feel abandoned." That made Sam cry again, remembering how he had acted when he found out, thinking of what had he gone through since then. Her emotions and hormones made it harder to accept and to cope with everything.