Olivia
Mum and dad were off to Spain for two weeks so they asked if I wanted to go up to Glasgow and get out of Llandudno for a bit. Despite it being like three weeks since the whole thing with Van I was still reminded of him everywhere I went so of course I decided to have a break in Glasgow. I got the train to Manchester and then from Manchester to Newcastle, and Newcastle to Glasgow Queen Street where I got a taxi to my parents house. I wish I came up sooner so I could have seen them but I had meetings with clients the whole week so I couldn't. My parents stocked up on food for me and my mum left a bar of chocolate with a note saying 'fuck boys x', I told her about Van on FaceTime as we're really close despite living in different parts of the country.
I was staying up here for two weeks, just in time to catch my parents before heading back home. A big city isn't somewhere I'd like to live permanently, it's nice having lot's of shops and stuff but Llandudno feels more homely, even if I'm faced with memories of Van everywhere I go. My dad would've loved Van 'cause he's in a band like he was, hearing about how van and Benji used to put cd's with demos and stuff through letterboxes reminded me of my dads stories of his childhood. Although my dad realised it wasn't working and then became a wedding band, I think that's why he'd like Van so much, 'cause they're pretty similar only Van didn't give up which my dad heavily regrets.
Fuck. I need to stop thinking of situations. Van fucked me over and I'm still sat here thinking how good it could've been for him to meet my parents. It's been a long day and I was dying for a snooze, so that I did. The spare bedroom was all made up for me and my mum had the teddy I used to sleep with as a child on the bed which made me smile. My mum was definitely the one I got my kindness from, not that my dad wasn't a good natured person, he was just more of a typical man.
I snapped a picture of the sunset to post on my Instagram story and then threw on an oversized t-shirt and pair of shorts from my suitcase which I was going to sort tomorrow, then dragged myself into bed. It wasn't too warm or too cold or anything like my own room at home and I didn't grow up here so there was no horrible memories coming from here which was something refreshing. For the first time in forever, I fell asleep almost instantly.
Van
The gig was mental, the further you go north the better the crowds seem to get. Everyone was shattered now though, there wasn't much conversation on the bus and I found myself on Instagram, tapping though stories until one caught my eye. It was a picture of the sunset in Glasgow which is where we were heading, this time we were booked in the hotel for 6 nights as we've barely slept properly since leaving Llandudno. When I looked to see who it was that posted the picture a wave of panic took over my body. @olivia.maclaughlin. What was she doing in Glasgow? Just when I was finally starting to stop thinking of her every second of the day. Bondy was the only person awake and I needed to tell someone.
"Bond, I think Livs in Glasgow, Look at This" I pass him my phone and a sunrises Look appears on his face as he hands it back. "Why though? You don't think it's cause we're here?"
"Her parents Van. Not cause of us" he replied, I completely forgot her parents stayed in Glasgow. "You should text her and tell her we'll be there. You need to speak to her Van"
"As if she's going to want to speak to me" I scoff, shaking my head at bondys suggestion.
"Maybe Not but at least she'll know you tried, it will make you look like less of a prick" harsh, but the truth. That's what I like a bout bondy, he doesn't give a fuck.
My phone was in my hand and I' d typed a message to Olivia and deleted it before sending it about 200 times, what do I even say? Fuck it I'll just go with what I thought originally.
Olivia x
Hey Liv, I know we're not on good
terms but we're in Glasgow for a
few days and I noticed you are too.
I wondered if you wanted to
go for a chat, I understand if not.
-Van x
Delivered 12:39AM
She won't see it until morning and something deep inside me was praying for her to message me back saying she wanted a chat, I wanted to tell her I'm sorry and wrap my arms round her and forget it all but it's not gonna happen. Bondy agreed to keep it a secret 'cause I couldn't be arsed with everyone making a big deal out of it, they'll all start having a go at me for how I ended it again. I know that it was wrong and stupid but hearing it everyday doesn't help me at all.
Just when I finally felt myself drifting off my phone buzzed. I opened it to see that Olivia replied surprisingly quick. 'tomorrow okay for you? 2pm?' that's all she said but i didn't blame her. I replied saying that was okay and the name of the hotel we were staying at but she didn't reply. In 20 minutes we'd be in glasgow and soon I'd be reunited with Olivia for the first time since I stupidly ended things.
I wasn't expecting anything big, after all I was such a dick. All I wanted is for her to know I'm sorry, my feelings for her were real and that I didn't take advantage of her. I should've done it sooner but I never seem to have the time to think things through properly anymore.
