Crave Me, Taste Me [FighterTutor 18+]

-25- 💋 Don't Wanna Say Goodbye

[A/N - Play the song and cry with me 💋]

"And I think you should know that I won't let it go. It was like a million times, I'm singing a lullaby. And I think you should know that I won't let it go. I thought that it was enough, but I don't wanna say goodbye."
~Michele Morrone, 'Hard For Me'

~~~

*Fighter's POV*

"I want to break up."

The words hang in the air, which has grown considerably more suffocating in the last ten seconds. I pray that I misheard him, that he's not really giving up on us like this. Still sitting in my lap after we made love, with Tutor silently crying.

As those words echo in my mind, my chest constricts as they slur together with the memory of Tutor's promises in the most painful way.

'No one else has ever made me feel the way that you do.'

"That's not funny," I manage, tears already forming in my eyes.

Tutor shakes his head, his cheeks still wet from his own tears. "I'm not trying to be funny. I'm telling you, I don't want to be with you anymore."

"Tor, stop."

"Stop what?! I'm telling you that I want to end things between us. I'm done."

'I'm happier than I have ever been, and I'm not going to let anyone take this happiness away from me.'

"I don't believe you," I persist, although my voice is shaking. "If you wanted to leave me, you wouldn't have just made love to me like that."

"It was goodbye," he cries softly. When he moves to slide out of my lap, I grip his arms to keep him in place.

"I love you. Do you understand that? I am in love with you."

'You are mine, and I am yours.'

"I know," he chokes out. "But I don't want to love you anymore."

Hot tears drip from my eyes as my heart splinters in my chest. "Why?" I whisper. "What did I do wrong?"

"Did you really think this was going to work?" Tutor demands, glaring at me with blazing eyes that contradict the tears swimming in them. "We're too different. Our worlds are too different. I'm supposed to be king one day. If I'm going to make a difference, I need to marry someone the courts can approve of, unlike..." he trails off, biting his lower lip.

His words hit me like a red-hot iron poker, straight through my aching heart. "Unlike me, who they would never approve of," I say coldly. "A monster."

Pain flickers in Tutor's eyes, but he doesn't correct me.

'I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. You are safe, and you are loved.'

"Please, don't do this," I begin to plead as the broken-hearted desperation bubbles up. I know I had promised myself that if Tutor ever asked me to leave, I would do so without argument. But now that the moment is here, I can't stop myself from wanting to fight for us until the very last moment. "I know you love me. If you didn't, you wouldn't be crying."

Wiping away his tears, Tutor looks at me with a coldness I haven't seen in a long time. "I'm crying because being with you is painful, and I don't want to do it anymore. And if you truly loved me, you'd stop and let me go."

'I love you.'

The finality of that statement hits the last nail on the coffin, making me realize that Tutor has been suffering a lot more than I had thought. He wasn't only worried about how his father and the kingdom would see him... he was burdened by the weight of the false promises he made to me.