Crave Me, Taste Me [FighterTutor 18+]

-28- 💋 Last Goodbye

[A/N - I re-watched episode 12 while writing this lmaooooo get ready]

"When you said your last goodbye, I died a little bit inside. I lay in tears in bed all night, alone without you by my side. But if you loved me, why did you leave me?"
~Kodaline, 'All I Want'

~~~

*Fighter's POV*

My throat burns as I practically inhale my drink; bourbon mixed with the blood from one of the bags Xan gave me. Being sober leads to thinking about Tutor, and thinking about Tutor is too fucking painful.

Although, it turns out that being drunk also leads to thinking about Tutor, so I'm fucked either way.

These past few weeks have been literal hell for me. Being in the same vicinity as Tutor and not being able to scoop him up in my arms and shower him with kisses is killing me. He doesn't want me anymore. Or... he doesn't want all the complications that come with our relationship. Either way, Tutor doesn't want me around. I've been itching to pack up and get the hell out here, but I promised Xan that I wouldn't leave until he found somewhere safe for me to stay.

But, considering it's been weeks since Xan said he would find me a place to stay, and he hasn't yet, my patience is starting to wear thin. Does he not understand how painful it is to live under the same roof as the man who shattered your heart?

My head is beginning to pound from overthinking, fueled by alcohol. I need to walk this off, get some air to clear my head. The garden is the only place I know that I can go where I'll be alone, especially at this time of night.

I stumble towards the back door, inhaling a deep breath as the cool night air hits me. Even though my mind is hazy from the alcohol, my legs still follow that familiar path to the place that holds all my best memories.

The cabin door is ajar when I arrive. I frown, but push the door open and stumble inside anyway. A figure stands with a jolt, making me freeze.

Tutor stares back at me with wide, tearful eyes from the bed. I almost run over to comfort him, but even in my drunken haze, my ears ring with the hurtful things Tutor said to me.

"What are you doing here?" I question, a bit harsher than I intended. The tears in Tutor's eyes dry up as he glares at me.

"Nothing," he grumbles. "I'm leaving."

He strides across the cabin towards the door, attempting to pass by me, but I reach out and grip his arm. Tutor's head snaps in my direction, eyes narrowed in annoyance.

"Let go of me, Fight," Tutor snaps, trying to pull his arm away. As I watch him desperately trying to break from my grasp, anger begins to flood me. Tutor was the one who made me promise over and over that I wouldn't push him away, and now he's doing exactly that to me.

Wordlessly, I tighten my grip and drag him to the bedroom, pushing him onto the bed. Tutor yelps in surprise, trying to squirm away, but I pin him down by his wrists.

"Let me go!" Tutor repeats, wrinkling his nose in distaste. "You're drunk."

"I'm hurt," I grit through my teeth, voice breaking. "You hurt me, Tor. I was fine loving you from a distance, but you wanted to pursue an actual relationship. No matter how many times I said a relationship would be dangerous, you promised we could handle it. You promised."

Tutor stops fighting against me, looking up with sorrowful eyes. The amount of hurt in his eyes proves that my heart is still capable of being broken, because it's happening all over again.