Only Heart

Chapter 37

*A few weeks later*

I decided to call John. He's been on the road for a few weeks now, and he'll be on the road until right before the baby is born. But I want to get to talk to him.

I tried to stop myself from crying. I miss him so much. But every time I look down at my baby bump, I see John. It's hard to stop thinking about him.

My hands shook as I dialed his number. I feel like crying my eyes out. It's just so hard being away from someone you love.

It rang and rang, until he finally picked up.

"John? Are you awake?" I whimpered.

"Uh yeah. What's up?"

"I really miss you." I cried.

"Katy honey, are you...crying?" He asked, sounding worried.

"Yeah. I am. I just wish you were here."

"Babe don't cry. I'll be there right before the baby is born. Don't you worry."

"It's hard not to worry. I love you and I want you to come home." I whispered, and tears started falling from my eyes.

"I can't come home. The last time I came home early I got yelled at and almost lost all of the money I made for those shows. I know it's not all about the money, but I need to do this. Not only for me, but for us, and for Scarlett."

His deep, raspy voice echoed through the phone. I miss him. I miss his touch, I miss his hugs, I miss his kisses. I miss his presence. Having him by my side, gets me through my days.

"Katy? Are you there? Katy?"

"Yeah. I'm here." My voice cracked.

"Why don't you get some sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"I don't want to."

"Please? For me?"

"I can't."

"How about I sing you a song?"

He sang the lyrics to who you love, and I have to be honest, it made me cry even more. Hearing his voice makes my heart hurt.

"Are you asleep now Kate?"

I decided to not answer. He would be too worried if I did.

I'll just have to get through each day. But it will be hard without him.

---

It was 2 am and I still haven't gotten any sleep. I know this is so stupid, but it's so hard not to cry.

I got out of bed and went to the bathroom to wash my face, and tried to stop crying. The sight in the mirror was awful. Sometimes I don't feel myself without him.

The tears became more intense and I put both on my hands on the sides of the sink, and cried.

Then I heard little footsteps come it's way into the bathroom, and I looked over.

"Mommy are you okay?" Scarlett asked.

"Mommy's fine. Go back to sleep now. You look tired."

"I can't sleep without daddy here." She replied, looking down at her feet.

"Neither can I." I whispered, as I wiped the tears from my eyes.

"Can I sleep with you?"

"Sure. Now come here."

Having Scarlett in my arms made me feel better. She's like John. Everything about her is just like John.

I got into bed with Scarlett and embraced her, as I kissed the top of her head.

"We'll be alright. Don't worry. Daddy will be home very soon. Right before your sister's born."

She smiled and for a second my world lit up.