Saving Her

Chapter 23

I'm running down the hall following Dr. Story and sure enough a familiar head of curly brown hair is walking to meet us. His gaze steals a quick look at my face and then turns away.

Ouch..

My heart is still racing and now it's hurting. It feels like a punch to the gut.

I head back to my desk and wait for him to surface from down the hall again. I see Connor walking in the front door.

"Connor!" I call to him, waving my hand in his direction.

"Hi Mila, what's going on?" He asks as he steps up to the desk.

Sighing, I let out a breath "Do you know if Shawn is okay? He hasn't really said much to me lately and I know he's been with you a lot more."

"Well...he has seemed off lately. Brian and I have tried to talk to him about it, but he's just blown it off. I know he's going to therapy, but I'm not sure it's helping." He pauses, concern filling his eyes. "And yes, we've been hanging out more. Don't worry, he's not drinking. We make sure of that. I think he's having a harder time dealing with what happened to you than we thought" he trails off as there's some sadness in his voice, his eyes lock with mine, filled with sympathy.

Suddenly Brian and Shawn are standing next to Connor at the desk. Brian looks at me and smiles. Shawn on the other hand can't look me in the eyes.

"Shawn? Do you have a minute?" I ask him, looking at him directly, while Connor and Brian step away slightly.

He finally looks up at me and I can see how much it's hurting him. My heart shatters. He nods and follows me to a quiet corner behind my desk.

"Camila, we have to go back to the station. Can we talk later?" He says, clearly uncomfortable being around me. Never fully looking at me, I watch as his hands fidget and his feet already turn to leave.

"Okay" I say defeated. "Will you be home later?" I ask, willing him to look at me, but he doesn't. He just answers my question, almost emotionless.

"Yes, you're mom needs help fixing something in the garage and then we're having dinner at my parents" he replies, still not looking at me.

"Can we talk when we get home, please Shawn?" I reach out for his hand. He flinches at first, before taking a deep breath and letting me take his hand, squeezing it gently. "I miss you Canada." I say softly. Looking into his eyes, finally I see a glimmer that wasn't there before. "I miss you too Banana, I'll be home later okay?" He sighs before giving me a weak smile and dropping my hand from his.

"Okay" I sigh.

At least it's something.

The rest of the day drags on and I just want to get home to talk to Shawn. I text mama and see if she needs me to pick anything up from the store on my way home. We always bring something over to share when we go to Karen and Manny's for dinner. Sofi texts me as well and tells me that she misses Shawn and wants to know if he's coming home tonight. I text her back and say yes he is, but I need some time alone with him to talk. She agrees and says she's been talking to Aaliyah as well. I'm so grateful they must see what I see. I just need to make sure he's okay; because I won't be okay until he is.

Arriving home I carry in the groceries I grabbed on the way home for mama and help her make a chocolate cake for dessert at the Mendes' later.

"Shawn's in his room mija" my mama tells me once the cake is done. She tells me she just wanted to enjoy some time with me before she let me know Shawn was home. I'd seen his truck in the driveway, but these days, I knew that didn't always mean that he was home. I decide I'm going to give him some space for now. I'll talk to him after we get home from dinner.

Heading upstairs, I head to my room and shower and change. I choose some tight fitting jeans, ankle boots and a pink short sleeve that I cover with a black cardigan. I'm a little freer in what I wear when I'm around people I know. I have to start pushing myself a little bit out of my comfort zone so I can really get back to a "new normal."

Ready to go, I walk out of my room and bump into something hard. I feel an arm snake around my waist and I go stiff. I know it's Shawn by the smell that fills my senses; it's hard to describe, to me it's just Shawn. I relax a little bit at that realization and turn in his grasp to face him. He removes his arm and stands with his hands to his sides. "Sorry" he mutters "I just didn't want you to fall."

"Thanks." I smile at him cautiously.

We head downstairs, Shawn behind me. The space between us awkward, the tension unbearable. "Shawn, I need you to promise me we'll talk after dinner. I'm worried about you." I say turning to face him when we've made it down the stairs. His gaze avoiding mine, he looks down at the floor. "We will, I promise" he says unconvincingly.

Nodding, we head to his Jeep and head for dinner.

Dinner was kind of awkward. Karen and Manny asked to speak to Shawn alone after dessert before we left. Aaliyah, Sofi and I were sitting on the couch, my mama in the kitchen, when they came back inside. Shawn came over to me and reached out for my hand. Confused I took his hand and he led me outside.

He pulls me to a couple of chairs around the fire pit in the Mendes' backyard and we take a seat. He doesn't look at me, so we both watch the flames from the fire burn.

Before I can form any words Shawn beats me to it.

"Mila, I'm so sorry."