Saving Her

Chapter 13

I somehow manage to give Shawn's hand a small squeeze, fully feeling the warmth of his hand now, the feeling of his blood coursing through his veins.

I'm willing myself to open my eyes. I can start to feel all of myself even more than before and I know the smell I smelt earlier was an indication of where I am.

I really don't want to be where I am.

I'm at Toronto General.

In the unit my papa built specifically for victims of sexual assault and abuse. The gravity of the situation scares me and suddenly I don't want to fight anymore. I just want the silence to overcome me.  The idea that I'm here because something bad happened to me makes me so sick.  I really don't want this to be real.

Keeping my eyes closed, I just let my mind wander somewhere else.  I even try to ignore the feeling of Shawn's hand in mine.

Denial...  that's what I'm going for.

Keeping my eyes closed, a voice fills my mind.

"Mija, they need you to fight my beautiful Karla. I need you to fight. You need to keep going for me. Open your eyes sweetheart. Give them the sign I'm sending them. They are waiting for you."

Papa's voice. 

If I didn't know any better I'd say he was in the room with us, but hearing him encourage me to open my eyes is all I need to actually do it. In my head I'm silently sending a prayer to the angels and a kiss to my papa for getting me to this point. They always say your guardian angel will be there for you when you need them most.

Opening my eyes, I feel groggy, my vision is blurry, my head is throbbing so bad, but I can make out the head of messy, curly brown hair that belongs to my best friend sitting at my bedside, holding my hand.

Turning to him, I blink a few times and things start to become clearer. He looks like his dog just died. His face sunken in, his cheeks red with tears, but his hazel-green eyes stare right into mine and in that moment, no matter what comes next, I know that Shawn will be there for me. Like always.

I see my mama, Sofi, Tiffany and the boys are in the room as well and a collective sigh of relief is released into the room. My mama's bright smile pushes through her tear stained face and she stands to cup my cheek in her hand.

"Oh my beautiful mija, there you are! You had us so scared!"

Sofi gets up and stands next to her. "Nice to see you sis. Please, keep your eyes open now. I can't really stand to see Shawn cry anymore." She smirks directed her eyes to him.

Ah Sofi, always trying to lighten the mood.

"Hey, you were crying too princess. This is a big moment for all of us." He retorts.

Princess.

My body flinches at that word and I quickly remove my hand from Shawn's and swat my mama's hand from my face.

"NO!" I shout, my body begging me to relax, my head still throbbing; it's almost unbearable.  The big thick bandaid on my head feels like it's squeezing my brains out.

"What is it Mila? Did I do something wrong?"  Shawn asks, his face so scared.

I can't look anyone in the eye, my face hardens, and I use one hand to grab the blankets and move them closer to my face. I want to hide, curl up in a ball and disappear.

"DON'T, don't ever use that word again." My voice comes out as a yell laced with anger. Quite frankly I didn't think I had the strength to sound so harsh, but even though I just woke up, that word still sets off a trigger in my brain and my body.