Saving Her

Chapter 27

I'm glad Shawn and I were able to talk through some things last night. I can't believe he blamed himself for what happened to me.  He has no reason to be blaming himself for what happened to me; he didn't do anything to me.  Even if he had told me his concerns, I'm a big girl and make my own decisions, so he shouldn't feel bad about that.  I'm stubborn and I know that, but at the same time, I didn't ask for what happened to me to happen, and you can't always assume one thing or another makes someone automatically a bad person.  I, however, missed most of the signs Andy was showing me; there's a lot I missed when I was with him, and I know I can't get some of that back.

I just wish that Shawn had told me sooner about how he was really feeling. I might still be recovering but that doesn't mean I can't be there for him.  We're best friends and we're supposed to be there for each other.

He had texted me earlier to let me know that he was done with therapy and things went well.  He let me know he was going over to Connor's to watch the hockey game and I smiled knowing he was alright and was getting back into doing things he enjoyed. We made plans to meet at the cafe for breakfast in the morning and I can't wait to see him.

In the meantime I'm spending my evening with Tiffany and Emma; who made a special trip into town for girls night. We are painting our nails and watching Rom Coms in my living room.

My mama and Sofi are out running some errands and grabbing dinner. They've been so consumed with me that when I told them I'm inviting Tiffany and Emma over, they got excited and I told them they had the night off from playing "watch Camila."

I'm so thankful for my family, I'm also thankful for Tiffany and Emma.  Things have been rough at work since my return. Some of Andy's friends blame me for him getting fired and losing his medical license. Tiffany always stands up for me. She's a bulldog when it comes to protecting me and I honestly didn't know she had it in her, but she's feisty as hell and I love it.

Emma, even from a distance, has been supportive as well and I find myself calling her a lot when I just need to talk through my feelings.  We've been friends since forever, so besides Shawn, she's the one that knows me the best.

"So, how are things with you and Shawn?" Emma asks..

I turn to face her as were sitting on the couch "What do you mean?" I question trying to remain straight faced.

"I mean, is he better? Are you guys better?" She says concerned as Tiffany looks at me too.

"He's better; we're better." I proceed to tell them about the night before and into this morning. I'm still shocked at our reactions to each other and I tell them that too.

"Mila, I know you like him. You always have. I know what happened to you has kind of derailed things, but don't you think you owe it to yourself to see what you two could be?" Tiffany asks.

"I don't know....how do I know if he feels the same? Is it too soon?" I sigh into my hands.

"You'll never know unless you ask, and to be honest, that last part is up to you. You are the only one who knows where you are." She smiles back at me. "I think you two could be magic together. It's been a long time coming. I say go for it." She assures me as Emma nods in agreement.  They both tell me that even if things go "south" they still think he'd be there for me because that's just who he is.

He's my Shawn and he's amazing. He's one of the best detectives in Toronto and he's one of the best guys I've ever known. He reminds me of my papa in some ways and even though my papa was the first man that really loved me, I know that Shawn is someone my papa would be proud to have taking care of and protecting his daughter.

"Thanks you guys, you are seriously the best!" I say as I sigh in relief to have told someone else my feelings and sorting things out loud.  My girls are amazing and somehow always know exactly what I need.

"Of course Mila, that's what friends are for. You're one of the strongest people I know and you deserve everything good." Tiffany says grabbing my hand, giving it a little squeeze, I'm glad I don't flinch at the contact.

We spend the rest of the night continuing to watch movies, throwing popcorn at each other and wishing we were the lucky girls in the movies who always get the guy.

Mama and Sofi come home and we watch one last movie all together. It's one of Sofi's favorites about a guy and a girl who start out as friends and eventually realize they have feelings for each other. I know it's the same basic plot as most other movies in this genre, but it leads me to think of Shawn.

Would be be good together? Can I really see myself falling in love with him?

"Mija? Earth to Camila?" My mama says, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Yes mama I'm here."

"Thinking about a certain curly haired boy?"

"Mama!.....no!" I say trying to hide my blush.

"You can't fool us Mila, we know how you feel. I know you've been through the unthinkable, but when you're ready, I think he is too." She says winking at me reaching for my hand.

I don't respond, but just squeeze her hand and lean on her shoulder.

"I love him like a son Mila, and I know Karen and Manny love you as a daughter. Talk to him mija. You never know what could happen."

I know mama and the girls are right. I just have to find the confidence to tell him how I really feel and hope he feels the same way back.

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I'm not sure what's going on with my comments, but as I'm reposting this story, I see they are not all coming back.  I'm so sorry!!

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