Saving Her

Chapter 60

"Time of death....1830." A steady flat line sound buzzes through the air.

"No...no...NO!!"

"I'm sorry ma'am, we did everything we could. His body just wasn't strong enough and he lost too much blood. I am so sorry for your loss."

"Oh my god no!  Take it back!  Take it back, he can't be gone!  NOOOO!!!"

The sounds of the Toronto General ER fill my ears as murderous cries from a woman behind a curtain pulls me out of my haze. Tiffany is trying to drag me down the long hallway as we approach the room Brian had told us about.

No sooner did the words come out of his mouth, I dropped my phone, my body paled and my blood running cold, my heart stopped beating. I swear I almost chuckled.  Brian was playing a sick twisted joke on me.

Right?

I would wake up from this nightmare, Shawn would be sitting across from me at the dinner table and we'd be halfway into desert by now.

But we're not.

Instead, my best friend is attempting to hold me up with all of her strength as we slowly make our way into a place that is all too familiar to us for more reasons than one.

I feel how I look, which is like crap. My hairs in a stringy mess, my eyes are red, puffy, watery and my makeup is running down my face. I didn't even have the strength to change out of my baby pink lace dress I was planning to wear for dinner tonight. I must look like some sad, dejected prom princess stumbling down the hallway after being snubbed by her prince.

The sounds of monitors and alarms ring in my ears and the smells I've grown accustomed to now seem foreign and unfamiliar.

Multiple officers are standing in the hallway as we get closer to his room. Some standing, some sitting on the floor while others pace. A nervous energy fills the space and I can't help but shiver. I know what happens when an officer gets shot, but seeing it; experiencing it...words can't describe how numbing, almost bone chilling it is seeing so many men and women in uniform all at once is.

Connor and Patti see us first when we finally get to them, I collapse in Connor's arms.  Holding me, he slides down the wall and gently takes me with him.  Rubbing my back, he tries to comfort me, but I'm inconsolable.  My body is shaking as tears plummet down my face and my heart aches. 

This cannot be happening.  This cannot be real.  We were so happy!  He's my hero....

"Shhh...Mila.  He's going to be okay." Connor says quietly as he rocks me back and forth.

"You....you donntttt, don't know that!" I hiccup.  The realization that I'm being overly dramatic doesn't phase me as more of Shawn's fellow family in blue turn to see what's going on.

Patti is holding Tiffany as they wait for some sort of news.

Brian comes down the hall and Tiff runs to greet him.  She wraps her arms around him and they share in a quick but passionate kiss before pulling apart and coming towards me.

At least her boyfriend is alright...

Connor helps me up, his hands now firmly gripping my waist as I lean against him, his strong frame absorbing most of my weight.  Brian sees me, jogs towards me and instantly takes me in his arms. 

A fire I didn't know I had takes over and a bottomless pit of rage ignites as I push myself out of his arms and slap him.  His hand coming up to cup where I hit him.

"You told me you were going to look after him!" I yell, aware of the show I'm making, but too angry to give a damn.  "You promised me!" I scream.

"Mila...I'm sorry" he says as he attempts to step closer to me again.  I take a few steps back, putting my hands up defensively.  I don't need his sympathy right now.  He should've had Shawn's back.  He should've made sure Shawn wasn't going to get shot.