Saving Her

Chapter 43

Shawn's POV

I wake up the next morning and Camila is not by my side. She's not even in her room. I shoot up from the bed, instant panic sets in. I woke up once during the night and she was sleeping peacefully, so I don't quite know what could be wrong. I'm sure if something was bothering her, she would tell me; I'm sure if it.

At least, I think she would. We agreed to communicate and be honest with one another to make this relationship work.

As I get out of bed I walk to her bathroom, my heart rate picking up a little as the nerves kick in; I'm afraid of what I'll find. The door is closed, but I hear faint sounds of crying. I knock and when she doesn't answer, I check the door to see it's unlocked. Slowly opening the door I step in quietly and announce myself.

"Mila it's Shawn." I say as I walk further in the bathroom. She must be in the shower because I don't see her anywhere right off and I still hear quite sobs. I see my T-shirt she wore to bed and her panties in a pile on the floor outside the shower.

"Mila? Baby...are you okay?" I ask concerned as I step closer to the shower, the glass is frosted, so I can't see her clearly.

She doesn't respond, only the sounds of her sobs continuing. I can't take it anymore, I push the door to the shower open and my heart breaks at the sight in front of me.

Camila is sitting on the floor of the shower with her knees to her chest, her arms hugging them and her face buried in her knees, her wet hair plastered to her face, shoulders and back. The water is still running and I can tell it's gone cold by the fact that there is no steam in the room or condensation on the mirror.

"Camila, I'm going to come in the shower with you now." I say gently as I proceed with caution and sit across from her on the floor. I'm still in my T-shirt and boxers, but I don't care. My butt gets wet immediately and spray from the water hitting her head is making my hair and face damp as well. She lifts her head slightly and I show her my hands so she can see them. This is a huge step in a direction I thought we were getting past, but at the same time I understand it. She's still hurting and I just need to be patient. This reality brings tears to my own eyes as she looks at me full on. She's shivering, her eyes are blank and swollen from crying and her lips are pale just like her skin.

"Baby....what's wrong?" I whisper as I reach out for her. Reassuring to me, she lets me gently touch her arms as I take one of my hands to cup her face.

"Why do you l...love me?" She whimpers, looking away... "I'm nothing but damaged goods..." she sobs, burying her head in her knees again.

My already broken heart shatters into a million pieces.. things were just so good. Where is this coming from?

"Camila, what are you talking about?" I say as I move closer to her. Gently lifting her face to look at me, she fights me at first, but eventually let's my hands cradle her face, I wait for her to respond. "I'm...I'm talking about the fact that you could have anyone and you chose me. I've been messed with, I've been used and I'm now in the same category as the girls you save everyday! Is that really what you want?" She spits out. Anger filling the shower now. The once wide shower now feels extremely closed in as she rips my hands off her arm and face. Her eyes wide as she looks at me, almost in horror. Like me choosing to be with her is a sick joke or part of the scary movies she hates.

This is so not like her, even with everything that's happened. I mean I know mood swings can happen, but Camila's never had one before, at least not this bad. I know her. Knowing how she is, I decide the only way to get her to even reason with me is to tell it to her straight.

Taking a very deep breath, I look her straight in the eyes to convey that what I'm about to say is 1000% the truth. She stares back at me, but puts her hand up so I can't touch her.