Saving Her

Chapter 39

Shawn's POV

The next morning I wake up to a very familiar sight, but it feels different this time.  Different in a very good way.  Camila, my girlfriend, is laying with her head on my chest, her hand over my heart, our legs are tangled together.  Last night was hard and I knew that we might experience some set backs, and I knew that she was going to have some doubts; I just didn't think they were going to be that early....but then again we all heal and grow at different paces.

I'm afraid to move because she just looks so peaceful.  Her brunette locks scattered in disarray, her cheeks rosy, as she lets out a little sigh every now that shows how content she must be.  I want to take a picture and frame this moment because here it is the day after my 29th birthday, I'm laying in bed with my girlfriend.....not my girl  friend.......my girlfriend, in a beautiful cabin in the woods in Banff, Alberta.  Not only that, but she has never looked more beautiful.  She doesn't have that line that usually creases on her face or her furrowed brows even in sleep.  No, this morning her face is back to the way I remember old Camila being.  Like the world can't hurt her, like she's happy to be alive and all the hurt and pain she's experienced doesn't exist.

A part of me wants to stay here forever in this little bubble.  I can keep saving her here.  The distraction has been nice and getting to see glimpses of the new, old Camila makes my heart extremely happy and grateful that we haven't lost her completely.

I feel her stir on top of me.  "Mhmmm....you're so warm babe." She whispers.

"Did you just call me babe again?" I whisper in her ear.  "Yesssss...would you prefer I call you something else?" She quips back, letting out a small yawn.

"No...no, I like babe! It's just going to take some getting used to."

"I know, this whole thing is going to take some getting used to, but I think I can get used to it!" She smiles sitting up a little. She reaches up and runs her fingers over the stubble on my face. "I don't want you to shave today..I want to see if I like how this feels on my face. I've always been curious how it would feel to kiss someone with stubble." She laughs a little as she hides her face when my eyes go wide and I snort out in laughter. "God Mila, you're adorable....your wish is my command. No shaving today. Although I probably do need to take a shower." I wiggle my eyebrows seductively at her.

Her face pales a little and she goes straight faced. "Ummmm.....Shawn I....I don't think that's a good idea right now. Not that I don't want to...it's just, I'm still not comfortable being naked in my own skin...I don't think I can be naked around you just yet." She looks down and sighs loudly.

"I'm sorry, gosh...we are here in this beautiful place for your birthday and we just had the most amazing, yet confusing day yesterday and here I am not even considering showering with my boyfriend." She cries out. "I'm so stupid!"

"Hey hey baby nooo, don't say that. You are not stupid. You have a right to say what you are and are not comfortable with!  What did I tell you last night?" I say as I gently take her in my arms and pull her on my lap, cuddling her to my chest.  I hear her sniffles as she replies "You said we can go as slow as I need and that you love me."

"That's right Banana! There is no rush for me.  I could literally wait forever for you.  That is...if you still want me." I rub her back softly as her sniffles die down.  "Of course I do Shawn, I love you.  I've been waiting for you my whole damn life..I just didn't realize that the person I was meant for, that I really wanted was right in front of me." She reaches up and kisses the hollow of my neck.

"Ok then, so we agree that we both want each other, and I've told you that I'm okay with taking this slow.  I mean it baby.  This is no ones relationship but ours.  There is no time table for any of this, I want you to feel comfortable in your own skin and I want you to talk to me.  But I just need you to know that I want to be with you and only you...okay?" I look at her beautiful brown eyes as I gently push some of her hair behind her ears and allow my hands to cradle her face.  "Okay." She sighs, her gaze meeting mine, her hands coming up to gently wrap around my wrists.

"Can I kiss you now?" I ask.

"Yes!" She replies as our faces come closer together.  I lean in slowly and she meets me halfway.  Our lips meet and sparks fly everywhere, tingles race down my spine.  I can tell this was another conversation we needed to have and I can tell she just as shocked at the reaction as I am.  She must be feeling it to because in a move to deepen the kiss, she lets go of my wrists and straddles my lap.  Her arms come and hold the sides of my neck as she continues to kiss me back.  I quickly let go of her face and softly place my hands on her waist.  She lets out a little moan at the contact and I think she's going to pull away until she angles her head and finds yet another way to deepen our kiss.

I feel alive, I feel electric.  It feels so good to be kissing her, holding her and having her reciprocate everything I'm doing and feeling.

We finally break away, both panting slightly.  She touches her forehead to mine, her eyes still closed.  "We are really good at that." She giggles.

God I love the sound of her giggle.  I'm going to have to record it one day and use it as my ringtone or something.  She does things to me and the sound of her giggle is music to my ears.

"Yes we are." I reply.  "Wanna do that again?" I smirk.

Without answering, she crashes her lips to mine in a show of force so strong I'm not prepared for that I fall back on the bed, taking her with me connected at the lips.  She doesn't flinch, which I'm kind of surprised at, but she knows what she's comfortable with so I let it go.  She still straddling me but now I'm lying on my back and she's hovering over me.  Our lips still sharing in each other.  This is incredible.  I still can't wrap my mind around this.  Never the less, I continue to kiss her and hold her.  Lips meeting lips in a beautiful dance and we both moan at how good this feels in unison. 

That's her cue to pull away..I'm happy we've gotten this far.  "Wow!" She says

"Yeah....Wow!"

"By the way babe...I like how your stubble feels on my skin." She winks.

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