Camila a receptionist on a unit her father built for "special victims" is best friends with Detective Shawn Mendes of the Toronto Special Victims Unit. They've been inseparable since they met at a college party a few years ago. Both are adventure...
After much deliberation Shawn decides he wants to go to Banff, Alberta. It's been a long time since we went on any sort of nature excursion and he says he just wants us to spend some time in a log cabin and enjoy the scenery. I'm so excited, I actually have something to look forward to. Since I'm not working, I've been home, trying to paint more, but also dying to live outside of these four walls.
Bored, I decide to look at pictures of where we are going. Grabbing my MacBook, I google Banff. I think I drool a little when I see how beautiful it is. I mean....just look!
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The mountains, the water....this is literally one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. I'm glad Shawn has a nice camera and a hidden talent for photography because after looking at pictures of Banff for what feels like hours, I know what I'm going to do for his birthday. He won't get his present until we get back, but I know he will love it!
After some further research I find a list of "Must Do Things in Banff" and print it. Most of them are lakes to visit, but there's a number of other things and I'm getting more excited for this trip by the minute.
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I decide even though Shawn wants a log cabin, it's more practical to stay at a hotel, so as a little surprise, I book us a suite at the Fairmont Hotel. It's a beautiful place designed after a castle in Scotland. I mean, at least if he can't get his log cabin in the woods, I can treat him to a suite in a castle.
Treat him like a king...right?
Clearly I'm feeling so good today, for the first time in months. I think being away from work has really helped me to heal even more. At my request, my therapist now meets me at a quite coffee shop near my house and we have our weekly sessions there. I need to rid myself of Toronto General for a little while longer if I can ever go back. I know my papa would want what's best for me, and I'm sure he'd push me to just live my days happily doing my art or finding something else to do, but I love working on the unit. I love getting to see Tiffany and Shawn and everyone else.
In fact, one night at dinner Shawn and Sofi told me of a plan they had come up with involving Andy's old office. After the incident Dr. Niall was asked to relocate to a different office because his was being permanently sealed. Sofi told me she contacted Dr. Story and a few of the hospital executives that still keep tabs on us after my papa's death and they all met, Shawn and my therapist included; and decided the best thing for me, for everyone involved was to permanently seal that office. Once it was sealed off, the door removed and covered by walls, they offered me to paint a mural on the wall. My therapist said it would be a great way to help me heal and overcome. It would allow me the ability to replace a part of me that associated that place with a bad memory into a good memory and as an added bonus would offer a sense of peace for everyone. As decided by Dr. Story and eventually me, a small plaque would be hung once my mural was complete detailing my story. It's not meant to induce sympathy for me, but rather understanding and comfort to those who spend time on the unit after me. Even though something horrible happened to me and my attacker was an employee of the unit; I'm still grateful some good can come out of all of this.
Speaking of something good, my mind wanders to Shawn as I continue to aimlessly pin photos and look for mural ideas on Pinterest. Our solo trip to Banff has me excited, but also nervous. Our almost kiss the other day has me feeling some type of way... It was my first indication he might actually like me back.
If I'm honest, it's scary to have feelings for your best friend. It's even scarier when you've been a victim of rape because that first relationship after is always the hardest. So many questions run through my mind on a daily basis, and at least a few times, I talk myself out of being brave enough to tell him how I feel.
Could he handle being with me? Does he even want to be with me? I mean I know we love each other and he's my fiercest protector and as I'm constantly reminding him he's my savior; I just can't help but wonder if telling him my feelings is a really good idea. There's so much at stake if we get together and I don't know if I can handle that on top of everything else, or if I even should be...
That afternoon during therapy I mention that I have feelings for Shawn. Strong feelings. I bring up our almost kiss at his house the other day and my stomach flutters in excitement. I've been making a lot of progress lately and I have to really focus on my future now in order to fully move on.
I express my concerns about being with Shawn and my therapist tells me that while they are all legit, I also shouldn't be afraid to feel things again. To try and see if my friendship with Shawn can grow into something more. She tells me how she was shocked I let him be so close to me even on that night, and how it's not abnormal to be so comfortable with someone even with all I've been through.
Tonight, after I get home I'm sitting at the kitchen table when mama and Sofi come to join me. Shawn is working the night shift so he's not home. I tell them my dilemma, which leads to multiple screams of "oh my god" and "Camila! We're so happy for you!" They both encourage me to tell Shawn how I feel and my mama even admits that she thinks Shawn likes me too.
She says "Call it mother's tuition mija, that boy is smitten by you." Pulling me into a hug, the three of us stand there in the kitchen, in tears. This time though, they are happy tears.
"You've come such a long was sis. I'm so proud of you, you're so strong!" Sofi says as she kisses me on the cheek and we all head for bed.
Taking one last look at my open MacBook screen at the pictures of Banff I decide this trip with Shawn is when I'm going to tell him my feelings.
I'm ready for my next chapter. I'm ready for Shawn.
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I have always wanted to visit Banff, I'm an outdoorsy person and just looking at pictures of the scenery gives me the good kind of chills.
Also, disclaimer: while Banff is a real place, Camila and Shawn's trip will be completely fictional and based off the ideas in my head. Just like the rest of this story :)
Does anyone thing Camila is moving too fast with telling Shawn how she feels? I'm so curious what you all think. Leave me some comments and don't forget to vote :)
