Covered in dirt

Chapter 40 "These two tricked me"

Anderson's P.O.V

I wipe my eyes which are red and stinging like a bitch. My throat felt as if it was completely swelled, I could hardly talk... Rio had his head in his hands and looked beside me to see the three guys with the same red eyes. I don't remember the weather being dusty. Shade suddenly looks up and catches me staring.

"You know, I always thought I was doing the right thing, that I probably was so right everything I did was for good. But today I realize how much of disgusting, heartless asshole I am. I've never been so ashamed of myself, wishing I could just die, but that also wouldn't be fair, I don't deserve an easy death... " He rubs his face, his disheveled hair made him look more boyish and his eyes held deep regret.

"Everyone makes mistakes Shade, some small and some really bad ones," Rio looks at me smiling sadly. And then I remembered how it all had started. My heart fills with fear wondering if he still believes all those stupid lies.

"I... I swear I hadn't-"

"I know, I know you didn't go behind my back and steal my girl. How could I ever believe those lies, I was so stupid. How could I think, you would do something like that to me," He pulls his hair in frustration. He knew? But how?

"Lilith came to me after I was admitted to Rehab," He continues seeing my confused expression. "She told me everything. At first, I didn't want to believe her, I was so angry, I felt betrayed and I guess somewhere along there I completely lost her. After that my senses kicked in, I realized how stupid I was. I understood everything after I lost her. I loved her very much, you know? I did. But I failed to show it, to prove it," He sighs.

"And it wasn't even your fault," I speak through my gritted teeth as I glare at the Wright brothers. They look down in guilt and they should very well be guilty. They just didn't ruin my life but also my brothers. And yet they expect me to forgive them? Look at the audacity.

"Yes, it wasn't. It was our fault. We did everything. We were the ones who fed you all the lies, we were the ones who burnt your trophies! We were the ones who clicked fake pictures of them to provoke you, we are the reason your relationship fell and we are very fucking sorry and guilty for that. We committed a huge sin and we are very ashamed," Nick gulps and I expected a very angry Rio, ready to scream and beat the shit out of them, but what I fucking didn't expect was to see him smiling.

"I know it was you two. It got to know everything but it was very late then, but I'm happy that you admit your mistakes and are ashamed of it,"

"What? Are you serious right now!? Do you have any idea what they did!? It's all because of them and you're happy! Don't tell me you're going to forgive them for what they did!" I shout exasperatedly.

"I forgave them a long time ago Lewis," My mouth falls open at his words.

"Why? Why would you do that? Don't you see what they-"

"I very well know what they did. They did it out if anger. I don't exactly know what happened with Jay, but they were grieving too, Lewi. They had lost someone too, and anger drove to do something like to this," I couldn't believe my brother. Why would he ever forgive those rascals? They are the reason we feel apart, our family fell apart.

"They don't deserve this! They can't get away so easily!"

"I think they suffered enough. The biggest punishment someone can have is drowning in guilt and regret. And I know they are genuinely sorry, that's the point, it all about realizing mistakes. Like I said everybody makes mistakes, some are really bad mistakes but it's okay to forgive them. Don't hold a grudge brother, it makes life harder. I was upset too but they too were just kids, not thinking properly and so were you. You also made a mistake and you all need to forgive each other and move on. You can't blame them everything, it's not their fault, we partly hold the blame too. It wasn't their fault that dad died, he had a heart attack and then couldn't survive an awful accident. Don't blame them. It's okay to let go," He ruffles my hair and smiles.