I Already Know | Remus Lupin | Marauders Era

30

Everything felt different on the 1st of September 1977. Robyn hugged her dad and Aunt Lucy goodbye on Platform 9 ¾ as usual but she felt an odd sort of empty feeling as she pulled her trunk towards the train. She tried to stop herself wanting the smell of chocolate and woodsmoke to fill her nostrils as a soft sweater brushed against her arm, the weight of her trunk being lifted from her as Remus sent her a beautiful smile. But, of course, none of that happened and she had to heave her luggage onto the train herself. Another thing that she had to endure was hundreds of other people's thoughts practically deafening her. Had it been a year earlier she would have thought them useful for finding her friends but now they just reminded her that she didnt have her boyfriend to hold her hand and shut them out. Robyn sighed, trudging down the length of the train and reluctantly listening to everything going on in her mind.

'Shitting shit! I didn't do my Transfigurations homework over the summer! McGonagall's going to skin me alive!'

'Sirius Black's hair has grown even longer over the summer...he's so fit...and fucking TAKEN!'

'I wonder if I can lick my elbow...just a little bit further...yeah, no.'

'I still can't believe Robyn and Remus broke up - I guess it's my chance to swoop in and steal him. He's so cute.'

Robyn froze and she felt her heart ache as her eyes filled with tears. People already knew. They were going to be talking about it! People were going to try and be with Remus! Robyn didn't know if she'd be able to handle that. Then again, she didn't have much of a choice considering she broke up with him...oh, why did she break up with him!? No, Robyn shook her head and carried on walking in search of Ara, He has too much self guilt to even try and let me help him...he needs to get over that before I can be with him. Robyn tried to push out the thoughts and she finally spotted the platinum hair that belonged to her best friend. She slid open the door and attempted a smile but it fell as soon as she saw Ara's face. There was mascara streaked down her cheeks and her nails were chipped from her biting them. Robyn knew immediately what had happened and Ara could tell.

"It was on the platform." she sniffed and Robyn sat beside her, placing her arms around her shoulders. "He noticed me and turned away, he didn't even look angry, he just ignored me." Ara covered her face and cried as Robyn rested her head on her friend's shoulder. She knew what she was going through, mostly. Granted, she broke up with Remus and there was no infidelity involved, but they were both heartbroken.

"I'm going to try and talk to him." Robyn told Arabella and the girl's head snapped up, staring at Robyn worriedly. "I'm going to explain to him what really happened but, at the least, I'll know what's going through his head."

"But what if it's something terrible! What if he's thinking about how glad he is that he's rid of me?" Ara's uncharacteristically haphazard nails reached up to press into her lips, her blue eyes glistening with unfallen tears.

"This is Rory we're talking about, Ara. He's been our best friend since we were eleven...he's just hurt."

"Yeah, hurt because of me!"

"So make it up to him." Robyn said and Ara frowned, her forehead covered with lines that she would have never normally let sit there. "Show him that you still care about him."

"Well, how on earth am I supposed to do that?" Ara wiped at her cheeks and slumped back in her chair, staring sorrowfully out of the window,

"I don't know, Ara." Robyn muttered, her mind going to the hurt look on Remus' face as she walked away from him on that wretched day. "I don't know."

———

Robyn and Ara left the Great Hall after the Welcome Feast in silence. Their arms linked and their heads filled with thoughts about the two boys who's hearts they had broken and, in turn, broken theirs. Robyn was so preoccupied with her worries and regrets that she didn't hear footsteps approaching them as they dawdled through the corridor.