I went back to the house, trying to forget what had happened tonight. I cleaned up the blood on the floor, and then went out into the yard. I turned on the light in my backyard, cleaning up all the broken glass. By the time I finished doing that, it was two in the morning. And yet, I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep without dreaming of what happened just a few hours ago...
After that, I found a tarp in the garage, I guess from the people who's house this is, since I'm only renting it.. I put it over the broken section of the window, which luckily wasn't the whole thing. That took about half an hour to get to stay where it was supposed to be.. Then I went and watched some Netflix for the next six hours or so....
I jumped when there was knocking on the front door, and my mind immediately went to the image of me opening the door last night to see Ryan and Grace..
It took me a minute to convince myself that wasn't the case again, and walked over, opening the door. Grace immediately ran inside, throwing her arms around my legs. "Hey, what're you doing here?" I asked, looking up to where Harry was standing. I motioned for him to come in, and he walked past me.
"Well, you haven't been picking up your phone the last few days. I thought we were going to talk." He said, holding up his phone. "The last few days?" I asked, confused.
He studied my face. "Grace can you give your mum and I a minute to chat?" Harry asked. Grace nodded, running down the hall to the guest bedroom. He turned to face me. "When was the last time you slept?" He questioned. I shrugged. "Depends what day it is." I replied. "It's the 12th." He said. I bit my lip, and sighed. "Uh. Ok. Well, the incident with Ryan and the hospital was on the 8th. So, the night before that." I commented. He looked at me. "Seriously?" He asked.
"Yeah. I guess I just.. Never mind, it doesn't matter... We can talk now I guess." I replied. He ran a hand through his hair. "Ok. What was going on at the hospital? Why were you looking at Grace like that?" He asked.. I went into the kitchen, just now realizing my house was a mess... I'd gone into some kind of weird mental state where I guess I blocked out the last few days? I don't know, that's never happened before, except maybe when I was younger.. I could've sworn that it hadn't been more than a few hours...
"Right.. Um." I hesitated, pouring a cup of coffee and taking a sip from it. "At the hospital, and even before then.. She wasn't crying, like you'd think a child would when they get hurt. Especially with a cut that big." I said, turning to face him. He was watching me. "What about it?" He asked.
I met his gaze, not sure why he wasn't getting this.. "Kids cry, Harry. A lot." I stated. He sent me a confused look. "Except for me. When I was her age, I was the same way. I didn't cry. Except, there was a psychological reason for it. I was abused, which affected the way my brain developed.. As far as I know, Grace isn't being abused." I explained. "So... You think there's something wrong with her." He commented, finally picking up what I was saying. "Something like that. You're always doing something. So, most days she goes from school to Anne's house. Or she's traveling with you..." I started.
"What? Are you saying it's my fault she doesn't cry?" He asked. I sighed. "All I'm saying, is that maybe you aren't giving her enough stability.. I recognized the look in her eyes on the way to the hospital.. She's going to turn out just like me if something doesn't change." I said..
"No she isn't, Brynn.. You were abused, and neglected, and then in a really shitty relationship that literally scarred you.. She has a loving family, and a lot of friends at school.. She's fine, Brynn. You're just paranoid. I know you're trying to protect her, and I really do appreciate that. But there's nothing wrong with her. Trust me, I'd notice if there was." He commented.
I sighed, and nodded. "Just... Be careful with her, please.. I left specifically for this reason. I didn't want her to end up damaged like me.." I said. He studied my face. "Do you even know how much you've changed?" He asked. I shook my head, looking over at the broken window. "I don't really know if I have, deep down. I can still feel all of it.. It's just.. Numb." I replied.
"You're numb? Or the memories are numb?" He asked, moving across the kitchen. I sighed. "Well, I don't remember anything from the last four days. So. I'm not really sure." I replied. He slowly nodded, seeming to think about it.. "Are you still going to therapy?" He questioned. I nodded. "Although, I guess I missed this week's session. I usually go on Thursdays." I said...
"I, um.. This probably isn't the right time for this. But I ended it with Jackie." He commented. "Really? And I was just starting to like her." I said sarcastically. He smiled, and glanced over his shoulder. I followed his gaze, and saw a flicker of brown hair quickly move behind the wall. "Grace, we talked about the eavesdropping." Harry stated.
She slowly walked into the kitchen, her eyes on the ground. "I'm sorry." She murmured. I smiled, watching as she walked over to Harry, who picked her up and let her sit on the kitchen counter. She still had the bandage around her arm. "How much did you hear?" Harry asked. Grace fidgeted with her fingers in her lap, not answering him..
"Why was mum abused?" She asked quietly. Harry glanced in my direction. "That's a story for another day, hon. When you're older." He said, and she sighed. "I don't want to wait that long." She stated. "Grace." I commented, and she looked over at me from where she was sitting on the counter. "You'll hear it when you're old enough." I said.
She scrunched up her nose. "Fine." She replied. Harry was watching me still. "Alright. Well, I guess we should get going." He commented, looking over at Grace. He helped her off the counter, and she ran over, wrapping her arms around my legs. "I'm not going. I want to stay with mum." She stated. "Okay, um.." I looked back up at Harry.
He sighed, and walked over, trying to get her to let go of me. "Grace, you can't stay here." He said. "I'm staying." She replied, sliding down to the ground and wrapping her legs around me as well.. Harry was trying to pull her arms off me. "Grace, come on. You're going to rip your stitches." He commented, his tone becoming impatient. "No, you're going to rip them." She stated.
He groaned, standing up. "You know she gets that attitude from you." He stated, and I simply smirked in response. He went back to trying to pry her off my legs. "Are you going to help at all?" He asked, looking up at me. "No. Why?" I replied. He rolled his eyes. "Fine. Grace, you can spend one night here. One. That's it. I'll come by first thing tomorrow morning." He said, and she got up, hugging him. I laughed. Harry held my gaze.
She let go of him, running down the hall and into my room.. Harry turned to face me. "What's with the tarp?" He asked. I glanced down the hall, looking at it. "Right.. I pushed Ryan through the window." I replied. He looked over at it, then back over at me. "That's impressive." He commented, and I laughed. "Thanks." I said. He studied my face for a moment. "It's still hard to believe you're really here." He said quietly.. "I know.. I'm sorry about that." I replied.
"Do you think I could give you another hug?" He asked, and somewhere in the back of my head, I hesitated. I think I'll always hesitate.. But, I nodded. He stepped forward, gently wrapping his arms around me. "I think I could stay like this forever." He murmured, tucking his head against my neck. I hesitated a moment, before slowly sliding my arms around him..
I guess maybe therapy does help...
