Throughout the night, Harry tried multiple times to get me to have sex with him. I'd then tell him no, and he'd listen and stop.. At 7:30AM, deep sleep finally kicked in for both of us, and I knocked out...
***
When I woke up again, it was 1:30PM, and Harry was still wrapped around me. I sighed, rolling over so I was facing him. He groaned, but didn't wake up.
He had one of his arms loosely wrapped around my waist, and his other hand was on my leg. I sighed, and grabbed his hands, managing to free myself and get up...
I went into the bathroom first, since it felt like I'd been holding my bladder for ages. After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I went out into the common area and ate a granola bar while waiting for my coffee to finishing brewing..
"Morning." Harry said, making me jump. I glanced over at him, and immediately looked the other way. "Seriously, Harry? Go put your fucking clothes on." I stated. "I don't want to." He replied. "Well I do want you to, and this is my apartment. So please.. Just, put your clothes on and leave." I commented. He sighed, walking back into my room..
When he came back out, he only had his shorts on. He walked over, and I backed away from him, setting my mug down on the counter. My back hit the wall. "Harry, please stop." I said, my mind flashing back to Ryan constantly trapping me against walls to try and beat me.
He shoved his hands through his hair. "I'm sorry." He murmured, stopping where he was. "I forgot.. I'm sorry." He said, taking a few steps back. I nodded, hesitantly going back over and grabbing my coffee..
He went over, making a cup for himself, and taking one of my granola bars. "Did you go for a run this morning?" He asked, and I shook my head. "So why aren't you wearing a shirt?" He questioned. I looked down, seeing I only had my sports bra and sweatpants on.. "Because at 2:30 you decided to take it off." I stated, looking over at him. "Right.. I don't remember doing that." He replied, and I raised my eyebrows. "Sure you don't. Because that wasn't you trying to get me to have sex with you for like ten straight hours." I commented, taking a sip from my mug.
"You could just have sex with me, and then you could get some decent sleep." He said, and I laughed. "Yeah, because that's what I'm going to do. Reward the child after a tantrum." I commented. "What are you talking about?" He asked. I looked at him. "You really don't take well with sarcasm, do you?" I asked, drinking more of my coffee.
"So.. It's a no on the sex then?" He questioned, and I laughed, almost choking on my coffee.. "Are you ever going to get over that?" I asked. "Nope. What if we just like.. Have casual sex? Like you did with that guy in Paris. The one who was trying to get you pregnant." He commented. "That would require no feelings being involved, and you told me last night that you loved me. So, I think that's pretty much off the table." I stated.
"Ok, but no. Because I remember you saying he had feelings for you. So... It would be the same." He said. "Right... But it isn't." I replied. He took a long sip from his mug, and I did the same, looking at him.. "It's the same though. So..." He trailed off. "Harry, it's not the same." I stated. "I don't understand why not." He commented..
I sighed, shoving a hand through my hair.. "Because, it just isn't." I stated, getting impatient.. He leaned against the wall behind him, thinking. "So.. I have feelings for you, like he did. So that's the same. And you don't have feelings towards me, right? So that's the same." He said, meeting my gaze. I didn't say anything, and looked away. "Unless you do have feelings for me. Which would make it not the same... Brynn." He commented, and I briefly glanced over at him..
"Do you have feelings for me?" He asked, and I took another sip from my coffee, checking the time on my phone. "Shouldn't you be going? Grace probably misses you." I said. "Now you're changing the subject, which means that the answer to my question is yes." He commented, and I rolled my eyes, but didn't say anything..
"Brynn. Can you just like... I don't know how to go about doing this now, because you aren't like most girls. I need like, an instruction manual or something." He stated. I stuck with my silence, not looking at him..
For the next few minutes, neither of us said anything, and I set my empty mug down in the sink, going to walk past him. He stuck his arm out, blocking the exit to the kitchen right as I was about to walk through it. I sighed, looking over at him.
"I don't know what you want me to say, Harry." I said quietly, not meeting his gaze. "You don't have to say anything, Brynn. Just.." He sighed, shoving his hand through his hair and setting his mug down.. I was watching him. "You seriously drive me crazy. I don't know what to do now." He said, and I shrugged. "So like.. Do you love me? Or are you not there yet? Do you not want to talk about it? Should I just pretend like we didn't have this conversation?" He asked, pacing across the kitchen..
"Brynn, just please answer at least one of those questions." He stated, turning to face me while on the other side of the kitchen.
I opened my mouth to say something, but wasn't sure what I wanted to say.. "I-um.. I don't know, Harry.. I just... I've spent my entire life not feeling things towards other people. I was never capable of it." I commented. "So.. I don't know.. I just.. I don't know." I repeated, slowly meeting his gaze...
"You have no idea how bad I want to kiss you right now. But I think you might hit me if I did that again." He said, and I laughed.. "There is a good chance of that, yes." I replied..
"So.. Where does this leave us, then?" He questioned, going back to our original topic. I sighed, shoving my hands through my hair...
"I don't know."
