"There's a reason you aren't letting them back in, Brynn. Think. I know you overthink about a lot of shit, and so I know somewhere deep inside, you know the reason why." He stated..
I sighed. "Harry.. I don't know, ok? Maybe I'm scared because I did it once, and Ryan got back to me and caused more damage. Maybe I'm absolutely terrified because I'm this broken, damaged girl who can't feel anything, and I don't want to make it any worse then it already is. It can only get worse." I said. He shook his head. "That's not true, and you know it.. It can only get better. If you really do think you're broken, Brynn, the only way is up from there. Ryan isn't coming back... I'm here for you, and I'll help you every step of the way until you're ready to let your emotions back in." He commented.
I shook my head. "Why? Harry, why would you do that? Why are you here? Why me?" I asked, glancing over at him, forcing his hold to loosen. "Because I love you. And that isn't going to change, Brynn. When you love someone, you take them as they are. And, I love who you are." He explained, pulling back and meeting my gaze. "Emotions or not, I love you." He commented, searching my eyes. I nodded, breaking off the eye contact and looking at the water in front of us..
After a few minutes, I felt his eyes on me. "Wait.. Brynn." He said, and I looked over at him.. "You, um.. You said you were scared. Terrified.. Brynn, those are emotions." He stated, and I sent him a confused look. It took me a few seconds to realize he was right. But I didn't quite understand why I didn't notice. And I wondered when I'd let them back in..
He smiled, and brought his hand up, pressing his lips against mine. After a few seconds, I pulled back. "Harry.. Can you maybe.. Stay here for a few days? I need some time to think, and clearly I wasn't doing a good job doing that on my own." I asked him, and he nodded. "I'll have my mum watch Grace." He replied, smiling...
***
•• January 27, 2029 ••
***
"Hey, Brynn?" I barely heard Harry ask. I groaned in response, still half asleep. "Brynn." He repeated, and I sighed. "What?" I asked, feeling him place his hand on my arm. I finally rolled over, facing him. "Sorry to wake you. I just, um.." He trailed off. "What?" I asked. "You were talking in your sleep." He said.
"Was I?" I questioned, knowing that it wasn't often that I did that.. He nodded. "So.. Was I being too loud? Is that why you woke me up?" I asked, and he shook his head. I ran a hand through my hair, glancing around the room. "So then.. What?" I asked.
"Do you remember what you were dreaming about?" He questioned, and I sent him a confused look. "No? Harry, can you just hurry this along so I can go back to sleep? It's three in the morning." I commented. "You um. You said 'I love you.'" He said, and I sighed..
"Okay. Well. I don't. So, goodnight." I replied, rolling back over and pulling the sheets back over my shoulders. He gently pulled me back so I was facing him again. "Brynn.. Were you dreaming about me?" He asked, and I sighed. "Can you just drop it? Nothing I say in my sleep means anything." I said.
"I know that.. I just.. I've never heard you say that before.. I know you don't love me. Trust me, I'm well aware of that.. So, was it about Grace?" He asked, and I sighed, meeting his gaze..
"Harry, I honestly don't remember.. But, probably." I replied, seeing him smile. "She is pretty great.. Brynn, will you come back with me tomorrow? Please? She misses you, and so do I." He commented, and I sighed.. "I don't know.. I just feel like.. There's a lot of bad memories there. In London." I said, and he nodded.
"I understand.. But that's where I've lived for most of my life. It's where I always come back to. Feels like home to me." He replied, and I ran a hand through my hair again. "I know.. But it doesn't feel like it to me." I commented. "So, then.. What are you going to do?" He asked, and I shrugged. "You said you were coming back, before you ran off.. Were you ever actually going to come back?" He questioned.
"I don't know.." I replied, sighing.. I moved closer to him, feeling his arm come around me...
***
The next morning, I was out by the pool again when Harry woke up.. "Brynn, I need you to come with me back to London. We can talk about moving somewhere else later, but I need you to come back with me." He commented, and I glanced over my shoulder. I sighed. "Grace needs you. You have to know that.. And, I need you." He said, sitting down next to me, putting his feet in the water.
"Ok." I replied, and he looked over at me. "Ok? What, it's just that easy?" He asked, and I shrugged.
"Can I ask you something?" He questioned. I nodded, keeping my eyes on the water. "Do you still have feelings for me? Like, do you know for certain that those feelings are there?" He asked. I nodded again, seeing him relax a little. "Can you express those feelings? Like, into words?" He questioned, and I laughed. "You really need a lot of reassurance about this." I commented, and he nodded, motioning for me to answer his last question..
I sighed, shoving a hand through my hair. "Okay. Fine.. Um..." I trailed off, honestly not even knowing where to start.. "I don't know, Harry. I just, I know they're there." I said, and he nodded. "Ok, well for me.. I know that I love you. I know that I hate being away from you, and that I love when you're with me. It gives me a sense of security knowing you're near... I hate that you're so incredibly stubborn sometimes, but.. I also love that.. And, I guess I just.. Love the way I feel when I'm around you." He explained, and I looked over at him. "Really?" I asked, and he nodded. I sighed, hating how easy he made it seem to say those things, and knowing I didn't even know where to start..
"What time's the flight?"
