** July 16, 2028 **
The next few days, I continued to go about my day as normal. I got up, showered, ate breakfast, then worked all day.. I'd tried to leave, to go find my own place, and Harry told me I couldn't leave. So, I guess I'm stuck here for now..
"Mum, can you make dinner?" Grace asked, and I glanced over my shoulder. She was standing a few feet away. "Where's your dad?" I asked. She shrugged. "I want you to make it." She said, and I sighed, knowing I'd actually have to cook something.. But, in an effort to try and make her turn out as normal as possible, I have to act like a real mother. Which, is hard for me to do.
"Ok. Um, anything you want in particular?" I asked. She shook her head. "Ok. Anything you don't want?" I questioned, setting my laptop down and getting up. "I don't want veggies." She stated, and I laughed. "Well.. We ate those yesterday when your dad cooked. So, let's just not have them tonight, and if he asks, we'll tell him that we did." I commented, watching as she smiled. "Do you want to help me make dinner?" I asked, and she nodded, running into the kitchen. I followed her, keeping the hood up on my sweatshirt.
Yes, it's July. But Harry keeps the house unbelievably cold all day, so I just dress like it's winter..
****
After Grace and I made dinner, we sat down at the table to eat it. Harry came through the front door, and I briefly glanced over, before going back to eating. "We need to talk." He stated, and I looked over at him, confused. "What, like right now?" I asked, and he nodded, motioning towards the stairs. I took a sip from my water. "I'm busy." I commented. "Brynn." He said, his tone pissing me off. Why did he think he could speak to me like that?
"I'm eating, Harry. Go get a plate, eat, and then we can talk." I replied, and he shoved his hands through his hair, before going into the kitchen. Grace was watching me.. "Why do you and dad always have to have private conversations?" She asked.. "Because your dad likes to talk about his feelings." I replied, then remembered that was something normal people do, and sighed.
"Which, is good. You should talk about your feelings." I said, and she nodded. "Well, I feel like the two of you don't like each other very much." She commented, and I met her gaze.. "Yeah, it's sort of always been complicated between us. Sometimes it's like that." I explained, continuing to eat. She did the same, and Harry came back out, sitting at the end of the table, between Grace and I...
***
After we finished eating, Harry sent Grace to her room to work on some summer assignment her school had sent out..
I was now washing the dishes, and felt him watching me. "So, are we going to talk, or are you just going to stand there and stare at me?" I asked. "You're being like this again, Brynn. And it's not okay." He stated.
"You're going to have to be more specific." I commented, putting the plates in the dishwasher.. "The way you were when we first met." He said. "Well, I don't know what to tell you." I replied, cutting off the sink and turning to face him..
"I want to know what happened to you while you were with Ryan. Because I think you need to get it out. You need to talk about it, and not just shove all your emotions inside and pretend like everything is normal. It may seem like the easier way out, but it isn't. Because in the long-term, those emotions build up and that's when it gets bad, and you can get psychological damage from it." He explained, and I looked at him. "Harry..." I trailed off, sighing.
"Brynn, you can trust me. You know that. Please, just tell me." He said. "Can't we just like.. Not talk about it?" I asked, really hating expressing any type of real emotion. It just wasn't natural for me. Growing up, my parents never let Andrew and I talk about how we were feeling. If one of us got hurt, they'd throw some bullshit parenting "suck it up" at us, and then lock us in our rooms for hours if we complained at all...
"No. We're going to talk about this." He replied. I ran a hand through my hair, my hood falling down in the process. "I can't, Harry. I really just.. It's too much." I commented.
"Brynn.. I can't let you do this to yourself. And you can't be this way with Grace around." He said. "I'm not. I pull it together. I'm trying, Harry. Ok? I really am." I replied, meeting his gaze. "Please, Brynn. Just tell me. No harm can come from it." He commented.
"You don't understand, Harry.. I can't fucking talk about it. I don't function like that.. My mind works different, and I dunno, maybe you're right, maybe it does cause psychological damage. But if that's the case, it's too late. Because what you're seeing right now, what I'm doing to myself, this is what I've done my entire life. This is the way I was brought up. It's fucked up. I know that. But, I don't know what you want me to do.. I can't change the way my brain is engineered. I can't change." I explained, sensing that if I was normal, I'd be crying. But instead, I just get a headache. Because, my parents never let us cry..
He walked over, his steps slowing a little when I took a step back. I flinched when his hand came up, but he didn't hit me. He gently placed his hand on my cheek, bending down and kissing me..
He pulled back after a few seconds. "I'm sorry." He said, searching my eyes until I looked down, sighing. "I know I pushed you too far, and for that, I'm sorry." He commented, his tone gentle. I stepped forward, gently wrapping my arms around him. He relaxed, and I felt him hug me back, tucking his head into the side of my neck.
"I'm sorry."
