Like Cotton Candy

Chapter 9: Day 6

Day 6

"What?", Nalya looks at him in confusion.

Changkyun sighs. He doesn't want to give her the wrong signal. He should let her go, just to prevent her from getting this wrong but ... he kinda feels like he needs her presence... somehow.

"Yeah. Maybe I can't fall in love but I...", he gulps and looks at her. "I really would like to have someone close right now...uh...", he scratches his head, knowing this might come over the wrong way. "You ... have you close... please?"

Unable to describe what's going on in his head he looks up to her. Their eyes meet and she tilts her head smiling before she places one knee back on the mattress.

"Come here!", he hears himself saying and opens his arms.

She hesitates a second, wrinkles her nose, and then she finally crawls over to him, cuddles up, and buries her face in his chest. Immediately he wraps his arms around her, places his chin on her head, and closes his eyes for a second while his hand caresses her head. Again this calm wave rushes through his body. Feeling her so close relaxes him so much.

Still, he can't get over what just happened. The way her mood suddenly changed...

"M-may I ask you... what... what just happened to you?", he asks carefully. "I.. Uhm... I witnessed this a couple of times that you feel uncomfortable all of the sudden and I... I wanna avoid that the next time ..."

"Mh...", she chuckles softly. "That's just me being a weirdo. Nothing you can do anything against..."

"But I wanna understand...", he says immediately. He can't just let this go. If there are moments she just switches and feels uncomfortable because of him.. he doesn't want that.

"Really. I ... I don't wanna give you this feeling..."

They look at each other for a long moment and Changkyun can see in her face how hard she fights with herself. Lastly, she sighs deeply.

"I...I like teasing... I like to talk about stuff that makes boys wild and ...", again she chuckles a little. "I saw how hard you struggled...I liked that... but ..."

He can't hide his grin. So she saw him struggling. And she even enjoyed it! That definitely suits her.

Carefully he leans a bit closer. "But?"

"It's only a small amount of time I stand this... Th—", again she sighs. "Gosh this is so stupid ... ", she whines.

Tenderly, he lays his hand under her chin and makes her look up to him.

"It's just me, Nalya!", he says. "You can trust me, you know that! And nothing is stupid when it comes to how you feel!"

"I know..", she whispers. "I know you don't mean it like that but then it feels like you would reduce me on my body. That you're not interested in me as a person just as... an object that coos dirty stuff into your ear and I... I don't like that..."

That shocks him a bit. This is the last feeling he wanted to give her.

Fuck.

"The same it is with the sex...", she says before Kyun could respond to this. "I mean I sure like it wild and rough... but I need the assurance in between that this is not only about my body... need words of comfort then...That this is about me....so ...", she buries her face into his chest again. "That's why I need love and trust to have sex with someone. I... need to know this isn't just physical... you know?"

A chuckle escapes his throat as she buries her face back into his chest, obviously ashamed of how she feels.

This is a weird combo. Loving teasing but feeling uncomfortable when it's too much. He really gets her struggle. She already told him that she envies him for being able to have sex without feelings. So she wants this. She wants to be open but her personality stands in her way. Still, he doesn't get why she feels ashamed of this. There are many people out there who need this assurance before they have sex with someone - especially girls ...
There's absolutely no bad thing about it.