Like Cotton Candy

Chapter 24: denial, anger, acceptance

They both remain silent for a moment, stare into the emptiness while Kyun tries to wrap his head around all this.

"He's wrong, isn't he? Tell me he's wrong!", he whispers and looks up.

Nalya looks at him, presses her lips together, still holding tight on her books.

"I don't need your pity, Kyun. Seriously!"

Without a further word, she stands up and walks to the door.

Immediately Kyun jumps up as well.

"Nalya!", he begs. "Wait. Please!"

But she ignores him and walks out of the room without turning around.

The next week, social distancing is still Kyun's key. He attends the psychology-classes again - but only so he won't lose the last spark of respect from professor Chapman. Apart from that, he doesn't care about any kind of parties or gatherings. He even manages to write his Prof an email and explains everything that has happened in the past days - in a few sentences - and the tutor was surprisingly happy with that and gave him the credit.

Not a single day passes without him thinking about Nalya. But he found a way to distract himself from his feelings. By changing his bedsheets even though he swears the smell of cotton candy still lingers somewhere underneath the mattress. By studying and playing video games - but strictly avoiding Soulcalibur since this is the game he played with Nalya on their date. He has no idea how long he can keep this up until he loses his mind but for now... it seems to work.

But at the beginning of October, there's a party Changkyun can't avoid at any price: Jooheon's birthday. Not only that this guy is his best friend and he wouldn't miss his birthday for the world - not even for Nalya - but the party is at their dorm. So he can't avoid it, even if he'd try.

For the first time before a party, he helps Mark and Kihyun cooking and preparing. He used to be that grocery-shopping kinda guy. But that would include dealing with Wonho, Jooheon, and Jacks - and he can't handle them right now. He really enjoys Kihyun's and Mark's presence. Maybe it's because they're not as close as he is with the others and doesn't hit him with reality. But they seem to find the perfect mixture of distracting when he feels like losing his mind and caring when his feelings hit him too hard - in his case: more with anger than with tears.

A few hours later he sits on the couch and sips his beer. Two weeks of no parties and social activities show. He barely knows how to behave. He feels uncomfortable but tries everything to hide it. Still, he's nervous. So nervous. Cause he knows Nalya will come. And he's not sure how to handle the situation either.

His heart almost stops beating as the front door opens and Maggs walks in after she changed in her dorm. But... Nalya is not with her...

"You can chill!", Bam says after he made out with his girlfriend for a while and sits next to him. "She's not coming..."

His head shoots over to him. "What do you mean?"

"That you're getting a stroke every time someone comes in", smirking he lays his hand on Kyun's leg to stop it from bouncing.

"I... I talked to her. She said she doesn't want to come..."

There's this super weird feeling inside of him. On one side he's devastated that she's not coming. On the other, he's kinda relieved. Cause he still has no idea how to deal with her. He feels his body relaxing and he takes a big gulp of his beer.

"Sad isn't it?", Bam says and Kyun looks at him. "All these times she complained about not having a reason to stay at this dorm and now...", he sighs. "Now both of us fucked it up so hard that she doesn't wanna come over in the first place anymore..."