[COMPLETED] [CRACK-FIC HUMOUR]
In which James Sirius Potter and Fred Arthur Weasley II discover a time turner, to try and help Tom Marvolo Riddle II loosen up. It's just a fun little time travelling journey, with our family and friends, what could p...
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1995 - Damn, these time-skips are hurting my small brain
"Dude, did you know that there's a jellyfish in the sea which is immortal?" Hugo read out from the book he was holding. Molly II blinked silently. "Hugo, I think you're confusing me for someone who actually gives a shit," Molly II deadpanned.
"Hey, Rose?" Regulus II called out."Yeah?" Rose answered.
"Can we, you know... fuck?" Regulus II asked. Rose turned to look at him, "What?"
"Nothing."
"Who's going to come practice with me in the Room of Requirements?" Harry announced. Hugo and Delphi stood up to follow him, followed by Ron and Hermione. It seemed as if the rest were too lazy to go, for plot reasons.
"Are they gone yet? Okay, let's get drunk," Regulus II poured himself a cup of alcohol and started to give the cup to Fred II. Then he took the rest of the bottle and started to chug straight out of it. "Regulus, what the fuck," Roxanne deadpanned, eating a bowl of cereal. It was in the afternoon.
Regulus II, already tipsy, bumped into Fred and George. "Sorry boys. I wouldn't do that on purpose. I really love both of you, so it was a complete accident, I promise," Regulus II patted both of them on the head.
"Woah, he's really tipsy," Fred snorted. George laughed with his twin brother. Regulus II accidentally spilt some of the alcohol onto the floor. "Whoopsies," Regulus II placed a small, single piece of tissue on the puddle of alcohol as if that was meant to do anything.
"Regulus II, if you spill anything else on the floor, then I'll shove your skinny dick down your skinny throat," Dominque threatened the drunk boy.
"Yum," Regulus II replied, stressing each syllable. The author had to reread what the fuck she just wrote because Regulus had only said one syllable.
"Oh well, it's too iconic to fix anyway," Tom II shrugged from behind her. The author agreed and continued to write.
"You," Regulus II pointed at Tobias.
"Me?" Tobias replied, bewildered.
"Yes, you. I want to suck your dick," Regulus ordered.
"Sorry, buddy. That's my job," James II placed his hand in Regulus' II face as a belated stop sign. Tobias rolled his eyes and went back to scrolling on his phone. "Is that what you do all day, scroll through your phone?" Lily questioned. Tobias just shrugged, going through Twitter. I don't know, I haven't been through his phone.
Unless...?
"Okay, Regulus, you need to get away from people," Rose dragged the drunk boy away from the common room and up the stairs towards his dormitory. "Regulus, get on the bed," Rose ordered.
"Rose, that's dirty~!" Regulus II exclaimed bashfully. Rose slammed her head against the wall, already feeling her brain cells commit not-alive. She forcefully pushed the drunk boy on the bed and glared at him. "You didn't have to push me~" Regulus II giggled, hiccuping.
