distance🖤 - mattia polibio

"what did i say"

i was quickly rushed out of the room and i sat out in the hallway on a bench not sure what the fuck to do. i turned on my phone to see the time and it was 5am. i stopped panicking for a second as i looked at my lock screen. it was mattia and lynx laying on the bed together. it was so cute. i unlocked my phone and saw my home screen of the whole group. i went and messaged our group chat and told them what happened and they all responded quickly asking me to keep them updated because the visiting hours hadn't started yet. 

i sat there for almost an hour , thinking about everything. 

and then finally a doctor came out the room.

"he's awake" the doctor smiled and i jumped off the bench, "he's still losing blood and it's kind of incredible how he's awake but we're gonna need to keep an eye on him , but we've ran some tests and he's okay for the moment"

"can i see him???" 

"yes" the doctor nodded and i walked to the door and took a deep breath before turning the handle and walking in.

he was still sitting up with pillows behind him to support him , he still had the bandage on his head and nasal canula on his nose. but he was awake. 

"um who are you?" he asked as i approached his bed. 

my heart stopped and i stared at him with tears forming in my eyes. no no no no no no no.

"i'm just playing" he smiled.

"oh my god" i cried and sat down next to him and he used his free arm to pull me into  a hug and i held onto him so tight.

"hey don't cry i'm okay now" he said and i looked up at him.

"i'm so sorry i didn't tell you how much you mean to me and i'm sorry i let you think that you weren't important to me mattia i love you so much and i never ever wanna lose you again" i cried.

"it's okay baby , we can forget that it happened. i'm happy i'm alive and i'm happy you're here with me and that's all that matters okay" he said and he kissed my head.

"but i can't forget it , if i would have just told you then maybe you wouldn't have left and then-"

"no stop don't say that. this wasn't your fault at all okay?" he said seriously and i looked at him and the scars on his face and arm.

"okay?" he repeated and i nodded and wrapped my arms around him and cuddled my head into his chest. 

he couldn't really hug me back properly but he was trying to.

"mattia"

"yeah"

"what made you wake up?" i asked and he thought for a second.

"i can't really remember" 

-THIRD PERSON POV-

"i can't really remember" he lied. 

he could remember. clearly. but he didn't wanna tell anyone what he saw. he wanted to keep it in his heart until it happened. so he decided not to tell y/n yet.

-back to normal y/n pov-

"the doctor said you might have been able to hear some of the stuff we were saying , did you?" i asked and he smiled.

"i did actually. i heard a lot of random things from everyone conversations but i did hear what you said a few days ago." he replied.

"what did i say?"

"you were talking about when we first met and then later you said you love me so much" he smiled and my eyes watered again , remembering how scared i was that i'd never be able to tell him that again.